- The Washington Times - Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Having scored only one touchdown on offense in their 0-2 start this season, the Washington Redskins sublimely illustrate Newton’s First Law of Motion, according to a local physicist.

“An object at rest tends to remain at rest — that does apply to the Redskins,” says James Trefil, a physics professor at George Mason University.

Ergo, the Redskins have got to get moving.

The woe in Washington after the Skins’ 27-10 drubbing at the hands of the Dallas Cowboys on Sunday night rivaled the melancholy in Mudville after Casey took his seat on strikes.

From physicists to police officers to local comedians, football fans across the region were looking for solutions to the Redskins’ distress Monday morning.

“They should simply start smashing people in the mouth and stepping on them,” says Michael DePaul, 43, a special police officer from Arlington. “Modify the 700-page playbook and reduce it. Do the basics and then get creative.”

Many of the disgruntled refrains were familiar, especially those that focused on the Redskins’ quarterback.

To put it another way, seats on the “Bench Mark Brunell” bandwagon are sold out.

“‘Dump Brunell’ is pretty much the most frequent topic of conversation today,” says Mark Solway, Web master for a Redskins’ news and message board site, www.thehogs.net. “He’s had two bad games this season, he hasn’t shown he can make this offense work for him yet, and the fact that he’s 36 years old makes people go to the conclusion that he’s done.”

Of course, it didn’t help that running back Clinton Portis sat on the sidelines with a shoulder injury suffered in preseason.

But the fans’ fury didn’t rest solely on offense. The Redskins miss cornerback Shawn Springs on defense and allowed the Cowboys — even with an ineffective Terrell Owens — to pull down two passing touchdowns.

“If Clinton Portis and Shawn Springs played, we would have won,” says Michael Eyob, a 17-year-old student in Silver Spring. “Play Clinton Portis, kill all the other receivers.”

Aside from personnel changes, what is the solution? And who can help?

(A spokesman for Steve Spurrier, whose South Carolina Gamecocks are 2-1, said the ex-Redskins’ coach was in a meeting yesterday and unlikely to provide advice by press time.)

“Get rid of Joe Gibbs and put me on the team,” says Darlene Hoston, 21, of Southeast. “Let’s just skin some potatoes. It’ll help their hands.”

Well, maybe the Redskins could learn a lesson from the last Super Bowl champion in town.

“I don’t know if you see the fire in enough guys that says we really want to win,” says Donna Wilkinson, a linebacker for the D.C. Divas, who won the National Women’s Football Association Super Bowl last month. “They’ve got to figure out what they’ve got to do to get themselves mentally and physically ready to play the game.”

Or as local comedian Danny Rouhier says, the solution to the Redskins’ struggles could be a bit more … fan-friendly.

“$1 beers,” he says. “It won’t help the team, but we can be more like Eagles’ fans, and who doesn’t want that?”

• Ruth Lang and Katie Nichols contributed to this report.

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