- The Washington Times - Thursday, February 15, 2007

After more than 20 years of nursing grudges and pursuing solo careers, new wave rockers the Police officially reunited at the Grammys earlier this week and then announced plans for a world tour to begin in May. Frontman Sting, guitarist Andy Summers and drummer Stewart Copeland rejiggered one of their best-known songs, “Roxanne,” with mixed results. After two decades on blocks, the machinery sounded a tad creaky. Nothing an oilcan and a few weeks in the woodshed can’t fix. Here are some other suggestions in the meantime.

Don’t wear wife-beaters — We don’t care how buff Sting looks. Wife-beaters are a no-no even for elegant, well-built British rock stars. And sorry: Vests with nothing underneath are part of the same sartorial family.

Lose the backing tape — One could distinctly hear more than one Sting singing “Roxanne” as the live one crooned the famous words “Put on the red light” during the chorus. Nobody was fooled.

Bring a therapist — Heavy-metal band Metallica famously hired, at some ungodly monthly sum, “sports psychologist” Phil Towle to help banish the inner-demons. Given the bad vibes of the Police’s breakup (“I did like you; it was your guts that I hated,” Sting told Mr. Copeland), the band will need a therapist at the ready — just in case the old demons resurface.

Fly commercial — Private jets are notorious carbon-dioxide emitters. So, if Sting really does care about the environment, the Police will need to fly commercial this summer to set the right example of self-sacrifice and environmental stewardship.

Leave the lute at home — Sting’s most recent solo foray, “Songs from the Labyrinth,” was a collection of 16th-century songs composed for lute and voice. If Police fans catch so much as a glimpse of this instrument, the reunion tour is a bust.

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