- The Washington Times - Sunday, March 4, 2007

News item: Everson Walls gives one of his kidneys to former Cowboys teammate Ron Springs.

Comment: A heartwarming story — especially when you consider that, nowadays, about the only thing players give one another is the finger.

• • •

Should be fun having Bill Parcells on ESPN’s “Monday Night Countdown” crew. Especially if, in a fit of pique, he starts referring to Chris Mortensen as “she.”

• • •

Love this three-strikes-and-your-out policy proposed by the NFL Players Association. It shouldn’t apply just to off-field incidents, though; it should apply to failed head coaches, too.

• • •

Twenty-six-year-old Derrick Dockery out, 31-year-old London Fletcher in.

The Redskins aren’t getting better, they’re getting older.

• • •

The thing I like most about Fletcher is that his name rhymes with stretcher.

• • •

Whereas Dockery’s only rhymed with crockery.

• • •

The Clinton Portis trade just keeps getting better for the Broncos. It brought them the league’s top cornerback, Champ Bailey, and now it’s brought them their other corner, Dre Bly. Denver picked up Bly from the Lions last week for Tatum Bell and other gewgaws — and Bell, of course, had been originally drafted with a second-round pick acquired from the Redskins in the Portis deal.

• • •

A brief word about Lamar Lundy, who died last week at 71. Though he’s best remembered for being part of the Rams’ Fearsome Foursome in the ‘60s — he was the right end — he also played some offense and might have been the first NFLer to be identified as a tight end in newspapers (1959 is the earliest mention).

Coach Sid Gillman used him on either “O” or “D” depending upon need. Before a game in ‘59, for instance, Gillman announced, “Lamar did a great job at defensive end for us Sunday, but we’ve got to get some blocking so I’m moving him back to the offense.”

Think of Lundy as a prototype of Antonio Gates. A very good basketball player at Purdue, he went 6-7, 240 pounds, and was easily the tallest receiver in the league. (The Packers’ Boyd Dowler was next at 6-5.) Had he come along a decade earlier, when two-way players were still in vogue, he’d probably be in the Hall of Fame.

• • •

Turning to college football, former NFL coach Jerry Glanville has been named the head man at Portland State.

How long do you figure it’ll be before Jerry leaves two tickets at Will Call for Bigfoot?

• • •

Correction in this week’s Sports Illustrated: “Due to an editing error, ultimate fighter BJ Penn was incorrectly described as the boyfriend of model Tori Praver in the 2007 Swimsuit Issue.”

Editing error? Yeah, they didn’t realize she’d edited him out of her life.

• • •

From Tori’s page at onethousandmodels.com:

On an athlete she’d like to know: “BJ Penn, of course! He’s an ultimate fighter and my boyfriend, and I love ultimate fighting and we watch it all the time. We’re super into it, and BJ is the best fighter out of Hawaii.”

• • •

Hope she didn’t dump BJ for William Perry.

• • •

Memo to GW basketball coach Karl Hobbs: 20-8 is nice, but how about actually playing somebody next season? I mean, unless you enjoy going to the NIT. Seventeen of the Colonials’ wins are against teams ranked 101st or lower in the latest RPI ratings. Joe McKeown’s GW women, on the other hand, played at Tennessee, Maryland and Georgia — all ranked in the AP Top 10 — prior to conference play and also took on Auburn (19-12) and TCU (21-9).

• • •

Remember that story a month or so ago about the Russian who lost his wife in a card game — ran out of money and simply pushed her into the pot (figuratively speaking, of course)? Well, seems a similar episode — involving a father and daughter — took place in Pakistan.

Don’t be surprised if ESPN, always looking to be cutting edge, comes out with a new show starring Norman Chad: “You Bet Your Wife.”

• • •

The Pakistani girl is reportedly “owed” to her uncle, but he says he wants her to marry his son. Just wondering: If they do get hitched, will they name their first son Chip?

• • •

By the way, what are her nieces and nephews supposed to call her, Auntie or Ante?

• • •

Just wondering: If the Caps had needed to send out an 11th skater in that shootout with the Lightning the other night, would Glen Hanlon have gone with the trainer or the Zamboni driver?

• • •

Quote of the Week: “If you are offended by profanity, it’s difficult to make a trade in the NHL.”

— Anaheim GM Brian Burke in his diary for USA Today

• • •

In Utah, erstwhile Olympic wrestling champ Rulon Gardner survived a watery plane crash, a swim to shore in 44-degree water and a shivering night on the banks.

In Florida, meanwhile, John Daly hurt himself stopping his swing when a camera clicked and withdrew from the Honda Classic.

• • •

The more I see of Simon Cowell on “American Idol,” the more I’m convinced he’s just Dick Button without the bow tie.

• • •

And finally …

Speaking of which, “American Idol” was 1-1 last Sunday.

The winner: Jennifer Hudson (“AI,” 2004), who sang a medley of songs at the Academy Awards and walked off with the Best Supporting Actress Oscar for “Dreamgirls.”

The loser: Ayla Brown (“AI,” 2006), who sang the national anthem before Boston College’s women’s basketball game but saw her team trounced by Maryland, 76-60.


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