- The Washington Times - Thursday, September 27, 2007

POSTCARD FROM MONTREAL

The latest chapter in the Rover’s lodgings saga belongs to the Montreal Airport Hilton, which has become an instant bizarro favorite. From the outside, its sprawling, low, cubicle architecture looks like something Frank Lloyd Wright and Hunter S. Thompson might have co-designed the morning after a particularly vivid mid-1970s acid-fest.

Inside, it’s shabby chic meets Moulin Rouge, an entertainingly tacky maze of rooms that clearly has seen heavy traffic from the lascivious set over the years.

Just consider the Rover’s room, which at first appeared bedless. Upon closer inspection, he discovered a Murphy bed cleverly built into the wall. It’s a flip-down double and a pretty decent sleep — very Austin Powers. Following on that theme, the Rover was amused to discover something called a Trousseau d’Intimite on his dresser.

Suffice it to say that said “Intimacy Kit” provided an impressive, gender-neutral array of prophylactics that would have the front desk under siege at any legitimate American hotel. Can you imagine asking the receptionist at the Ritz if the amenities included an intimacy kit?

• The Rover’s quote of the day comes from U.S. captain Jack Nicklaus, who authored the following gem after Gary Player finished talking about what a relief it was to have Ernie Els back as the International anchor after the Big Easy missed the 2005 Presidents Cup with a totaled knee:

“I’m taking Ernie tubing tomorrow afternoon.”

Els, if you recall, missed the 2005 event because of an August watersports accident in the Mediterranean.

— Barker Davis

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