- The Washington Times - Sunday, September 30, 2007

The Rover spent Friday night scouring Montreal for a sports bar televising South Florida’s in-progress upset of No. 5 West Virginia. The locals couldn’t seem to accept the fact that the Toronto-Edmonton matchup (superseding WVU/USF on Canada’s ESPN affiliate) simply wouldn’t suffice. After six years of French classes, the Rover’s Francais is passable enough to allow him to curse at one particularly idiotic bartender, who in response to repeated queries about the college game kept pointing like Pavlov’s dog to a wall of screens featuring the Argos and Oilers. Your ugly American correspondent finally informed him that he would “rather have a Drano on the rocks than watch your three-down, motion-manic bastardization of the world’s greatest game.”

Has the Rover mentioned that French Canadians aren’t near the top of his smiley-face list?

On the flip side, the ignorant American was incredulous when a street vendor asked him to cough up a “loony” for his morning paper. As it turns out, “loony” is slang for a Canadian dollar, which is a bronze coin featuring a picture of a loon on one side. Unfortunately, the same minds that came up with loony nicknamed the two-dollar coin a “twoonie,” instead of the rather obvious and intellectually preferable “doubloon.”

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