- The Washington Times - Sunday, April 27, 2008

Can’t blame the Redskins for trading the 21st pick for two No. 2s and a No. 4. That’s great value. But now Vinny Cerrato has to find the right players — and, let’s face it, his track record after the first round is rather spotty.

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Just wondering: If Joe Gibbs were still the coach, would the team have kept the pick — and taken the best prayer available?

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First overall selection: Jake Long, OT, Michigan — zero first-place votes in the Heisman Trophy balloting.

Second overall selection: Chris Long, DE, Virginia — one first-place vote in the Heisman balloting (and two seconds, one of which was mine).

Translation: Somebody needs a new pair of binoculars.

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With the Redskins’ first-rounder, the Falcons grabbed Southern Cal offensive tackle Sam Baker, son of Arena Football League commissioner David Baker. Makes perfect sense to me. After all, Bud Selig, David Stern, Gary Bettman and Tim Finchem don’t have any kids who are 6-45/8, 309 pounds.

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Why, you ask, did the agreement between the NFL and former Patriots video man Matt Walsh take so long? Well, the league insisted on some unusual provisions, I’m told. For the next five years, for instance, Walsh is forbidden from having any contact with Michael Moore.

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A new tell-all book is coming out that claims Mickey Mantle had a lengthy affair with Doris Day in 1962. Day, you may recall, starred in the movie, “With Six You Get Eggroll.” Maybe she was auditioning Mickey for “With [No.] 7 You Get a Roll in the Hay.”

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Interestingly, Mantle won the last of his three American League MVP awards that year — despite missing 39 games. I’ll bet every DNP was a night game, too. I’ll bet he didn’t miss a single Day game.

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According to David Kaufman’s “Doris Day: The Untold Story of the Girl Next Door,” Mantle met the singer-actress when he, Roger Maris and Yogi Berra had cameos in one of her films, “That Touch of Mink.”

In other words: It could have been worse. I mean, Kaufman could have had her in bed with Yogi.

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Mantle, by the way, scored 96 times in ‘62 — and that was just on the field.

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A show of hands, please. When the construction crew dug up that David Ortiz jersey that was secretly buried under the new Yankee Stadium, how many of you were expecting Jimmy Hoffa to be wearing it?

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Speaking of the Yankees, manager Joe Girardi has banned candy from the clubhouse to encourage a more healthy diet. And to think 47 years ago, when Mantle and Maris were at their peak, they had an endorsement deal with M&Ms.;

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Couldn’t help noticing that after Wednesday’s 7-2 loss to the Mets, the Nationals 3-4-5 hitters were batting .215 (Ryan Zimmerman), .209 (Nick Johnson) and .205 (Austin Kearns). If that’s the meat of the lineup, somebody should probably notify the USDA.

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Trivia Question: Who recently said of Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter: “He’s the perfect man”?

a. Gabrielle Union

b. Jessica Biel

c. Jordana Brewster

d. Ozzie Guillen

(Answer below.)

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Such confusing times for sports fans. Miguel Tejada got caught the other day pretending to be younger (31 instead of 33); a Brit named Pierre Jean Martin, who just finished the London Marathon, got caught pretending to be older (94 instead of 101); and Shaquille O’Neal is closer to 33 (he turned 36 last month) but playing like he’s 94.

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Turning to basketball, Kelvin Sampson is talking to the Milwaukee Bucks about an assistant coach job. Still, I can’t help thinking he’d be a better fit with the Wizards. I mean, if there’s one place Sampson belongs, it’s in an arena nicknamed the Phone Booth.

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As Masters hangovers go, it would be hard to top Trevor Immelman’s. In his next PGA Tour event after winning a green jacket, Immelman missed the cut by 10 strokes in the Byron Nelson. In fact, his 36-hole score of 78-75—153 (13 over) beat only four other golfers. Fearless prediction: Ol’ Trevor spent less time with his clubs the past two weeks than with the Canadian Club.

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No joke: It’s the worst follow-up performance by a Masters champ in the last 25 years (and possibly longer). The company Immelman keeps:

YearChampionNext finish

1994J. OlazabalCUT

1987L. MizeCUT

1992F. CouplesT59

1995B. CrenshawT59

1991I. WoosnamT55

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Something tells me by the time Trevor Graham is done testifying next month on performance-enhancing drugs in track and field, the U.S. will be looking like East Germany.

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Graham, the former coach of Marion Jones and other well-known track folk, is threatening to name a lot of names. Not to worry, though. From what I understand, Fanny Blankers-Koen — and her four gold medals in the ‘48 Summer Games — are safe.

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Great motto for a hockey team (in this case, the Philadelphia Flyers): Vengeance Now.

Of course, it would be an even greater motto for a divorce lawyer.

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The latest accolade for Caps goal-getter Alex Ovechkin: Chris Wallace’s show, “Fox News Sunday,” recently named him Power Player of the Week.

To which Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press said: “Do you know what a big deal that is, for Fox to honor a left-winger?”

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Answer to trivia question: d. Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen. (In Ozzie’s defense, the second part of the quote was: “Too bad I don’t have a daughter.”)

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Did you hear about the playoff game in the American Hockey League last week that went five overtimes? If the teams had stayed on the ice much longer, they would have qualified as frozen food.

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And finally …

Ryan Potulny, who scored the winning goal for the Philadelphia Phantoms, was voted the first star of the game, and Michael Leighton of the Albany River Rats, who made an incredible 98 saves, was voted the second star.

If it had been up to me, I would have had two first stars — Leighton for April 24 and Potulny for April 25 (his score coming at 12:38 a.m.)


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