- The Washington Times - Thursday, August 28, 2008

QUARTERBACK

stud: Tim Tebow, Florida — The only man who has inspired envy in Chuck Norris

dud: Matt Stafford, Georgia — Mobility is a major issue given Bulldogs’ inexperienced offensive line

TAILBACK

stud: Beanie Wells, Ohio State — A blue-chip talent with blue-collar demeanor



dud: P.J. Hill, Wisconsin — More like a Badgerette; true gamers play hurt

WIDE RECEIVER

stud: Michael Crabtree, Texas Tech — Broke every freshman receiving record in the book

dud: Percy Harvin, Florida — Rarely healthy enough to practice, always ready to fight a teammate

TIGHT END

stud: Jermaine Gresham, Oklahoma — “Mismatch” is a 6-foot-6, 250-pound nightmare

dud: Chris Zellner, Miami — Gone are the days of Jeremy Shockey and Kellen Winslow

OFFENSIVE LINEMAN

stud: Phil Loadholt, Oklahoma — The NFL tends to like 6-8, 350-pound left tackles with nasty dispositions

dud: Alex Boone, Ohio State — Emasculated by LSU’s Ricky Jean-Francois in title game

DEFENSIVE END

stud: George Selvie, South Florida — Notched Big East record 31 1/2 tackles for loss in 2007

dud: Michael Johnson, Georgia Tech — All the measurables, none of the intangibles

DEFENSIVE TACKLE

stud: Ricky Jean-Francois, LSU — A paragon of the academic world

dud: Terrance Taylor, Michigan — “Crisco” looks like he dominates at KFC

LINEBACKER

stud: Rey Maualuga, USC — You do not want any

dud: James Laurinaitis, Ohio State — True beasts do not wear letter jackets

CORNERBACK

stud: Malcolm Jenkins, Ohio State — Would have been the first defensive back taken in last year’s NFL Draft

dud: Alphonso Smith, Wake Forest — Would be dominant if NCAA had a Weeble Division

SAFETY

stud: Eric Berry, Tennessee — Folks in Knoxville say he might be best player in UT history

dud: Taylor Mays, USC — Looks the part but was only Trojans starter without a tackle for loss in 2007

COACH

stud: Rich Rodriguez — A more likable version of Florida’s Urban Meyer

dud: Charlie Weis, Notre Dame — Irish demise in 2007 was both unthinkable and inexcusable

COORDINATOR

stud: Jon Tenuta, Notre Dame — Georgia Tech defensive guru takes his services to South Bend

dud: Steve Spurrier Jr., South Carolina — Nepotism is an ugly thing (see FSU)

RECRUITER

stud: Kevin Steele, Alabama — Only a genius could sell dual nightmares Nick Saban and Tuscaloosa

dud: John Chavis, Tennessee — He apparently has an aversion to living rooms

CONFERENCE

stud: SEC — Different season, same story; no other league comes close

dud: ACC — Clemson is the only solid Top 25 team from this megaconference

SCHEDULE

stud: Georgia — Nine 2007 bowl teams dot the Bulldogs’ outrageous docket

dud: Navy — 2008 opponents were bowl subdivision-worst 55-92 last season

BOWL

stud: BCS title game — Jan. 8 at Dolphin Stadium; look for Oklahoma vs. Florida

dud: GMAC Bowl — Dedicated to exposing MAC schools to continental drain that is Mobile, Ala.

UNIFORMS

stud: Michigan — Thank you, Fielding Yost, for introducing college football’s gold wings

dud: Oregon State — Orange and black were bad enough before they added the athletic bra

MASCOT

stud: Ralphie — You have a coed in a clown suit; Colorado has a one-ton raging beast

dud: Uga IX (or whatever) — Do you need to sit on a pile of ice to survive the game?

STADIUM

stud: Florida — Really called Swamp because all 90,000 rednecks are flooded and salty

dud: Michigan — You can’t get 110,000 people that quiet for mass in St. Peter’s Square

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