- The Washington Times - Friday, July 24, 2009

This week’s “Orphan” features an ending so silly it has to be seen to be believed, which got us thinking: What other movies have absurd endings?

1. Planet of the Apes (2001) — An enduring monument to the evils made possible by unnecessary remakes, Tim Burton’s 2001 take on the Charlton Heston classic ends with an exhausted Mark Wahlberg returning to Earth only to find Ape-raham Lincoln sitting in the chair of the Lincoln Memorial.

2. The Life of David Gale — An anti-death-penalty screed, the plot features two anti-death-penalty activists who fake the murder of one in order to get the other put to death and show the evils of the system. The final reveal — that David Gale was in on the plot all along — famously caused Roger Ebert to give the film zero stars.

3. The Village — M. Night Shyamalan’s fourth movie came with his customary twist — the eponymous village turns out not to exist in the late 1800s but in modern times — but this one pushed audiences too far. His next two films were largely ignored by moviegoers.

4. The Andromeda Strain — In the original theatrical feature, the deadly virus goes through a “random” mutation that instantly makes it harmless to humans, thus rendering the previous two hours moot.

5. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull — Indiana Jones. Aliens. Russian telepaths. A spaceship destroying a Mayan temple and taking off into the sky. You’d forgotten just how awful that ending was, hadn’t you?

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