- The Washington Times - Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Advice compiled and condensed from actual sources by Kelly Jane Torrance, who composed the questions.

I’ve been better known the last few years for my scandals than for my songs. So I thought I should remind people of my talent before I check out one of these days. I just announced a series of concerts in London that I’ve said will be my last.

I’m starting to wonder if I really should say farewell, though. I’ve gotten more good publicity in the days since I made the announcement than I have in the last eight years. I did say, “This is it. And when I say this is it, I mean this is it.” But I also made sure to say these would be my last concerts in London - leaving the door open to a farewell tour elsewhere.

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Should this outpouring of excitement for my farewell concerts keep me from saying goodbye?

- Michael Jackson

Dear Michael,

Man’s feelings are always purest and most glowing in the hour of meeting and of farewell.

- Jean Paul Richter

The man who’s been charged with assaulting our baby has access to her - but we don’t.

We haven’t heard from Rihanna since the night her boyfriend Chris Brown apparently attacked her. She’s changed her phone number and even her e-mail address. We’re really worried about her. It seems she’s gotten back together with this creep. We want to give her our love and advice - she clearly needs it now more than ever. How can we get her away from her abuser and back into the arms of her loving family?

- Rihanna’s family

Dear Fentys,

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.

- Anne Frank

You might not have heard of me yet - but you will soon. I’m just a little girl from small-town Alberta who got engaged to a Hollywood movie star. At least, that’s how I like to think of Vince Vaughn. He did date Jennifer Aniston, so that makes him really big, right?

Anyway, I’m trying to decide what to do with my newfound fame. I worked as a real estate agent before I met Vince, but that’s boring. I have attached myself as a producer to some reality television programming. Do you think that hot industry is where I should use my soon-to-be-big name?

- Kyla Weber

Dear Kyla,

If you come to fame not understanding who you are, it will define who you are.

- Oprah Winfrey

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