- The Washington Times - Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Advice compiled and condensed from actual sources by Kelly Jane Torrance, who composed the questions.

I didn’t win a single award I was nominated for at the MTV Video Awards on Sunday - so I had to get some attention another way.

I did it without thinking. When Taylor Swift won the best female video award, beating out a sister, it was like it was the last straw. I grabbed the microphone from Taylor and gave my opinion - Beyonce’s video was better.

It seems that people thought I was rude to take the spotlight away from a girl who’d just won her first MTV award. I guess it was. It doesn’t seem to have done me much good. Well, besides that attention. I’ve had to apologize multiple times.

What can I do to be the center of things in a more productive way?

- Kanye West

Dear Kanye,

Give up all bad qualities in you, banish the ego and develop the spirit of surrender. You will then experience Bliss.

- Sri Sathya Sai Baba

I‘m thinking of retiring from what I’m best known for - making documentaries.

My latest hasn’t even hit theaters yet, but I can see the way things are going. As I mentioned to a reporter recently, none of my other documentaries seem to have had any effect on political life. And that’s why I made them - to change the world. What’s the point of telling it like it is if nobody does anything with that information?

I’m not an artist, I’m a provocateur. At least I tried to be. So how should I approach my work from now on?

- Michael Moore

Dear Michael,

The creative process is a process of surrender, not control.

- Julia Cameron

Ouch. My goal in life is to entertain people - but the critics didn’t find the premiere of my new show very entertaining.

My late-night contract expired, so I moved my show up to prime time. All the critics complained it was just the same old show at a different time. I don’t see what the big deal is. That format worked for me for years - so why change it? I was already nervous enough about moving my show up in time; I didn’t want to take too many risks at once. Was this a mistake on my part?

- Jay Leno

Dear Jay,

Don’t be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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