- The Washington Times - Monday, January 9, 2012

MANCHESTER, N.H. — Ron Paul’s final full day of campaigning in New Hampshire got off to a wacky start here Monday when he was met by a man with a rubber boot on his head and a bullhorn in his hand who eventually challenged him and President Obama to a “panty-wrestling match to decide it all.”

The man, who goes by Vermin Supreme and is running for president, was waiting in the parking lot as the libertarian icon exited a local diner here and slowly inched his way through the media horde to his black SUV.

Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul,” Vermin purred into the bullhorn, playfully taunting the 12-term congressman from Texas. “You are surrounded by the media, the media owns you now.”

The bearded satirist apparently has been making the rounds here ahead of the Granite State’s first-in-the-nation primary and has run for multiple political offices over the years. This year, no lie, his name appears on the presidential ballot.

“My name is Vermin Supreme; I’m running [for] the president of America. I stand for mandatory toothbrushing laws,” he said, delivering his on-the-fly stump speech. “I’m a friendly fascist, a tyrant you can trust because I know what is best for you. I am on the ballot here in New Hampshire, and you can vote for me. I am Obama’s primary, primary, challenger. I am challenging him and Ron Paul to a debate and an arm-wrestling match, leg-wrestling match and a panty-wrestling match to decide it all, the presidency of the United States.”

Asked whether he plans to send troops back into Iraq, he said he wants to send troops “everywhere.”

“I propose we will invade and we will make that country a state,” he said. “So, Iraq would be our 51st state, Afghanistan would be [the] 52nd state, and on and on. Once we change these foreigners to Americans, they will certainly love America, and we’ll will be able to tax them, and it will be a wonderful unified United States of the Earth. Thank you.”

It was reported earlier this week that the satirist dropped in on a campaign event for Rick Santorum, where he asked the social conservative, “Will you marry me, Rick?” and said, “Come out with your hands up and your pants down!”

As Mr. Paul tried to make his exit from the parking lot Monday, Vermin stood smack in front of Mr. Paul’s SUV, slowly walking backward and waving the car forward out of the parking lot, as if challenging the massive vehicle to a duel.

“I know you don’t want to run me over,” he said into his megaphone. “That would be very bad. That would be very bad press.”

A member of the Paul team eventually boxed him out of the way, enabling Mr. Paul and his small entourage to escape.

“What are you, chicken, Ron Paul? Bok,bok, bok, bok, bok,” Mr. Vermin bellowed at the departing vehicle before playing Chicken Dance music through his trusty bullhorn.

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