Thursday, September 5, 2013

Editor’s note: The following is a story based on satire originally created by

In an extreme effort to stamp out unfriendly competition, a youth soccer group in Midlake, Ontario, is eliminating soccer balls from their games and forcing kids to pretend they’re kicking a ball around.

“This year to address some of the negative effects of competition, we’ve actually removed the ball,” said Helen Dabney-Coyle of Midlake’s Soccer Association, reported. “And the kids are loving it.”

The small community decided last year to stop keeping score in soccer games, as did all leagues in the Ontario Soccer Association, the website reported.

“Unfortunately, when you put an overemphasis on competition, individual skill development regresses, and that’s what’s happened in our game for so long,” said Alex Chiet, technical director of the soccer group.

“The ball-less soccer this year as a challenge from a coaching perspective,” said Keith Schultz, head coach of a ball-less Midlake team for children under the age of 11, according to the report. “I have to do a lot of imagining.”

PHOTOS: What are the chances?

On a CBC Radio documentary about the new ball-less league, Mr. Schultz is heard asking his team, “Okay, now who wants to pretend to have the ball? When I say that Michael has kicked the ball down the field, we al have to imagine it’s down here,” reported.

Copyright © 2022 The Washington Times, LLC. Click here for reprint permission.

Please read our comment policy before commenting.

Click to Read More and View Comments

Click to Hide