- - Monday, December 28, 2015

Throughout time, meteorological proverbs, those pithy anecdotes about the weather, have been popular. “Red sky in morning, sailors take warning, red sky at night, sailors delight,” “Dew before midnight, the next day will sure be bright,” and the like.

Some of these truisms have been repeated for thousands of years. Even Jesus apparently cited a version of the red-sky-in-morning precept when noting that the Pharisees and Sadducees knew how to “discern the appearance of the sky,” but could not discern “the signs of the times.”

But, like the Pharisees and Sadducees, today’s high priests of climate change are misleading congregants from the real signs of the times, the true portending disasters.

Terrorism, for instance, is at our doorstep and even inside our house. And global terrorism is a real and present danger that no confab in Paris or climate crusaderism will stop. Yet the climate change disaster story continues to be writ large by unholy denizens of doom.

Certain politicians with the help of public-relations spin doctors have boiled down largely natural climate perturbations to a man-made global warming emergency. From there, it’s a simple step for them to distill the climate change concoction to talking points that anyone can swallow and regurgitate: “97 percent of scientists agree,” “hurricane intensity has increased,” “weather is becoming more extreme,” “deniers are paid off.”



The truth, or rather half-truth, of these talking points is another matter.

Unfortunately, today, more contemporary half-baked climate sayings can be put to verse based on half-truths rather than nothing-but-the-truth.

So, since the partiers who occupied Paris and their devotees across the globe believe unequivocally that climate change is the biggest danger to the planet, a new bit of weather wonkery can be crafted. Here are a few offerings:

• When there’s warming at night ‘ore the Seine, climate change is a fright all the same.

• In a two-degree rise, lies our demise.

• Seeing the science is “settled,” it’s time to peddle, a foreboding without mettle.

• Driving your SUV causes a rise in the sea, so turn over the key, to those better than thee.

• Polar bears sweating, Las Vegas betting, politicians netting, contributions without vetting.

• Scientific dissent comes only from Big Oil’s cent.

• A warm December is climate change to remember, a cold July is a denier’s lie.

Although not stated so eloquently, such precious prose was in full flower during the Paris climate confab, resulting in the usual dire predictions and assurances of arctic ice melting, seas rising, and increased hurricanes and other extreme weather events.

The Old Farmer’s Almanac has always relied on proverbial thinking for their forecasts — old wives tales that 97 percent of people agree must be true. This year, their projections include snow and cold for the Northeast during the week of Christmas. Instead, Washington D.C. and much of the Northeast are experiencing Christmas temperatures in the 50s and 60s. Hmm, maybe there is something to the environmentalists’ precognition. Or perhaps they have just as much prescient luck as the old almanac, and really simply encapsulate what they hope to be true. After all, they know better than the rest of us.

Regardless, as the payments come due as a result of the Parisian climate agreement, an overarching overture will be: When an environmentalist is upset, claiming Mother Earth is beset, hold on to your wallet.

Or, simply: Green guy in mourning, taxpayers take warning.

Anthony J. Sadar is a certified consulting meteorologist and author of “In Global Warming We Trust” (Telescope Books, 2012). JoAnn Truchan is a professional engineer specializing in chemical engineering and air pollution control.

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