Donald Trump is really stupid — or is he? He’s atop the latest polls, people are buzzing about his every move, and he’ll be the main target of the other wannabes at the first GOP debate early next month.
Wait, yes yes, he is. All you have to do is listen to him whenever he opens his mouth (and that’s a lot — he never shuts up). As they say in New Hampshire, he’s wicked stupid.
Last week, he went to Laredo, Texas, to make a stop at the Mexican border (cuz, you know, he wanted to see if he was actually right about his claim that Mexico is sending all its drug addicts and rapists and killers to America. Mr. Trump likes to speak first, check the facts later).
While at the border, the Donald held court with a throng of adoring reporters. Wearing a baseball hat that said “Make America Great Again,” he kicked off a frenetic press conference.
“We were treated so nicely. We learned so much in such a quick period of time,” he said. That’s good for Donald, he doesn’t have much time to learn. And this is what happened next:
Trump: “Well, thank you very much for being here. It’s been an amazing experience. Mexico is booming, absolutely booming I don’t know if it’s good for the United States but it’s good for Mexico. Anybody have any questions?”
One woman asked: “Can you save your relationship with Hispanics?”
“Yeah, I think I’ll win the Hispanic vote,” Mr. Trump said. “You know, I have thousands of Mexicans and Hispanics.” This was a nice quote, like Mitt Romney saying he has binders full of women. But Mr. Trump went on.
“Over the years, thousands and thousands of Hispanics have worked for me and now work for me, and the relationship is very good.” Not, you know, in executive positions, but whatever. The world needs ditch-diggers, too.
Then an angry Mexican, citing the Chattanooga murders, said killers come from everywhere.
“I agree with that. No, I agree with that. And they come through here, but they come from all over the world. I agree with that.”
Asked about a planned Border Patrol union meeting that got canceled, The Donald said: “So they invited me and then at the last moment — I mean, we were virtually in the air — and they said, ‘We can’t get involved.’ And I heard they got those orders from Washington.”
President Obama is trying to shut him down! For shame!
Asked if he was a racist, Mr. Trump said “there was such a great warmth” on his drive from the airport.
Q: “They were chanting against you.”
Mr. Trump: “No, they were chanting for me.”
Q: “No, they were chanting against you.”
Mr. Trump: “I didn’t see them.” So much for his vision. And his hearing.
A reporter asked: “What will you actually do to change the illegal immigration?”
Mr. Trump said: “You have to create — you have to make the people that come in, they have to be legal. Very simple.”
Boom. Mr. Trump solved illegal immigration, just like that. Just make it so that when they come into the country illegally, “they have to be legal.”
Donny T was asked whether he would make a third-party run.
Trump: “Look, I’m a Republican. I’m a conservative. I’m running. I’m in first place by a lot. It seems. According to all the polls. I want to run as a Republican. I think I’ll get the nomination.”
“The best way to win is for me to get the nomination and run probably against Hillary. Hillary is the worst. Look, easily, she’s the worst secretary of state in the history of our country. She’s going to be beaten and I’m the one to beat her.
“And I will take jobs back.” (Take them back to where? He didn’t say.) “And the reason I won with the Hispanic vote and I win all over with the Hispanic vote because they know I’ll take jobs back from China, I’ll take jobs back from Japan, and every other country that’s killing us. I’ll bring the jobs back.
“And you know, the Hispanics are going get those jobs and they’re going to love Trump and they already do.”
At the end, Mr. Trump was asked what he would do with the 11 million illegal aliens already here.
“The first thing we have to do is strengthen our borders and after that we’re going to have plenty of time to talk about it. Thank you very much.”
Done. We deal with the 11 million aliens here by strengthening the borders.
Yeah. This is what an idiot sounds like. But don’t worry. He won’t be around long.
• Joseph Curl covered the White House and politics for a decade for The Washington Times. He can be reached at email@example.com and on Twitter @josephcurl.