Kim Jong-un is apparently the squarest tyrant (with the literally-squarest haircut).
In an edict straight from a 1950s anti-Elvis cautionary-tale movie (or maybe “Footloose”), the North Korean regime is reportedly expanding its campaign against Western decadence in the poverty-stricken nation to — jeans and piercings.
According to Japan’s Asia Press, the reclusive Communist dictatorship plans a broad fashion crackdown ahead of the 7th Congress of its Workers Party, fearing contamination of its Juche-militant society.
“‘A growing number of North Korean people are infatuated with Western culture. The crackdown will continue until the end of the upcoming gathering,” wrote reporter Jiro Ishimaru, based on reports from North Korean citizens.
“Inspection units” of youths loyal to the Kim family will also monitor the length of skirts, the shape of shoes, T-shirts and hairstyles. According to the Daily Mail, “anyone breaching the restrictive guidelines faced having their hair shorn by authorities, especially in universities, who have been warned to watch out for any capitalist styles.”
The crackdown is reportedly aimed most on North Hamgyong and Yanggang provinces, which are close to China, North Korea’s only ally and a one-party dictatorship itself, but apparently too rich and Westernized for the Kims’ security.
North Korea is one of the world’s poorest nations and its state-run Rodong Sinmun newspaper told the country earlier this spring to brace itself for possible famine and severe economic hardship — but be happy nonetheless because “the road to revolution is long and arduous.” And apparently doesn’t include jeans.
There was no immediate public comment from Kim’s best buddy in the U.S., the heavily inked and pierced former basketball star Dennis Rodman.