So, the president announced Wednesday that he has cancer.
Normally, this would be cause for wartime headlines in newspapers across the country.
“FATAL DISEASE STRIKES PRESIDENT. Illness Sparks Constitutional Crisis.”
The airwaves would be filled with speculation about the proper order of succession. Maudlin remembrances of President Biden’s 50 years as a Washington politician would play on every channel. Political reporters would bare their souls with gauzy memories of Mr. Biden.
But this is the Biden presidency, so things played a little differently.
“Joe Biden’s ‘I have cancer’ statement shakes Twitter, White House responds.”
“Joe Biden says he ‘has’ cancer thanks to oil industry.”
“Biden says he has cancer from fossil-fuel emissions in latest gaffe.”
At this point in the Biden geri-ocracy, nobody knows what to make of anything the guy says. Just try to be polite and ignore that the most powerful man on the planet is up on stage offering to shake hands with thin air next to an American flag.
Brain synapses get stuck in the mud of Mr. Biden’s brain, and he bogs down in lies about being a truck driver, getting appointed to the Naval Academy, being arrested with Nelson Mandela or using a chain to beat up a thug at a public swimming pool.
Then the synapses hit a hard patch of his brain, and suddenly he begins yelling angrily.
“Why don’t you guys talk about something that matters?” he snaps at a reporter for asking about Mr. Biden cozying up to the Saudi dictator who ordered an American “journalist” to be murdered and chopped up with a bone saw.
Yeah. Something “that matters.”
After Mr. Biden announced that he had cancer, no one really reacted at first. The press continued watching him through bovine stares.
Rather than a fatal diagnosis for America’s oldest president, Mr. Biden’s remark was greeted as just yet another lie. It was simply another lie from a man who has been famous for lying for pretty much his entire political career.
After all, Mr. Biden is the first president in U.S. history to wear sunglasses everywhere he goes. No president before him would do such a thing because sunglasses symbolize dishonesty. They hide the very windows into a man’s soul.
Spies wear sunglasses — not presidents. But this president is different. He is a shameless liar.
He lies about little things. (Hunter Biden is the smartest person he knows.) And he lies about big, important things. (Inflation is higher everywhere else in the world than it is in America.)
He even lies about life and death. (He has cancer.)
Or, perhaps, he was simply confused. He was reading his speech, hit a soft patch in his brain and launched into gibberish.
In a free land of supposedly self-governed people, it is hard to say which is worse. We are governed by a sociopathic liar? Or an imbecile?
Either way, it is hard to say that there isn’t something intentional about it.
In this particular case, Mr. Biden was giving a speech at a Massachusetts power plant about global warming. He is currently on a political crusade to take away your freedoms, make America weaker and poorer, all the while accumulating more power for himself and enriching his political benefactors who are heavily invested in the global warming agenda.
Mr. Biden announced he has cancer as part of this global warming crusade. The cancer, he claimed, came from all the pollution that causes global warming.
The absurdity of Mr. Biden’s claim broke the ludicrous meter when the White House pooper scooper later trotted out to clean up the president’s mess. The White House pooper scooper disputed that Mr. Biden has cancer and assumed that the president was referring to a case of skin cancer Mr. Biden had a few years back.
Ah, yes. Skin cancer because all the pollution has blotted out the sun. OK.
The very next day, the White House announced that Mr. Biden has COVID-19. This after several “vaccine” shots and numerous boosters.
At least this claim is a little more believable since it came from the Biden pooper scooper department and not straight from Mr. Biden himself. Had the president claimed to have COVID-19, the bovines would have merely gone back to chewing their cud.
We wish the president a speedy recovery, whatever ails him.
• Charles Hurt is the opinion editor at the Washington Times.