Obama’s State of the Union address reminded me of Eddie Murphy’s “Saturday Night Live” Gumby skit. The president could have conveyed the entirety of his 70-minute, petulance-on-parade speech in about 70 seconds.
Here is what he might as well have said: “Things were bad when I got here and maybe it’s been all downhill since, but that’s Bush’s fault. I know what is best so you townhallin’ teabaggers should shut up and accept it. If you think getting a Republican elected to Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat will stop me you’ve got another thing coming. And you Democrats in Congress should stop whining and be more like Nancy Pelosi, who wouldn’t moderate if a house fell on her sister. Swallow the loony, leftist-flavored Kool-Aid and thank me. I’m trying to do my radical hope-and-change thing, which includes giving constitutional rights to terrorists, redistributing other people’s money but calling it “reform,” and pushing my quasi-socialist economic agenda by growing government while euthanizing private enterprise with new taxes and regulations.
“Not to worry, though; if the greedy Wall Street robber barons and capitalist pigs can’t figure out what all of this is going to cost them, we’ll just throw some tax credits at them and demand they hire the unemployed or we’ll demonize them with glee in the New York Times and on MSNBC. And those trillions we’ve added to the national debt that I’ve been dispensing like candy? Don’t worry your ignorant, pathetic little selves about it. After all, I’m Barack Obama and I know what I’m doing.