Don’t understand the furor about this supposed relationship between Roger Clemens and jailbait-aged Mindy McCready back in the ’90s. I mean, it could be a lot worse. Rocket could have made a pass at Minnie Pearl.
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Did you read about the Western Oregon softball player who tore up her knee after hitting a game-winning homer — and was carried around the bases by two opponents? You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if the major leagues picked up on that and instituted, uh, designated carriers. Heck, if they’d had those a decade ago, Cecil Fielder might still be playing.
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Well, the NFL Draft came and went, and not a single Alabama player was selected. Imagine: George Washington University had as many draftees as ’Bama, and GW hasn’t fielded a football team since 1966.
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I asked colleague Barker Davis, our resident College Football Oracle and a native Tennesseean, for a scouting report on Jerod Mayo, the Volunteers linebacker taken 10th overall by the Patriots. After a couple of paragraphs of nearly unqualified praise — “a beast,” “absurd measurables,” “very good [football] IQ,” “relentless,” “freakishly athletic” — Barker added:
“He earned my Uncle Jim’s seal of approval and got a hunting dog named after him. That only happens about once every three or four years. Usually LBs. He’s had a Neyland, Atkins, Hacksaw, Reggie, Cofer, Toles, Double L [Leonard Little], Big Al, Reynoch, Omar and now Jerod.
“It’s always a topic of conversation at Thanksgiving — whether or not anyone on that season’s roster merits consideration for the Alpha from his next litter. He always keeps the Alpha and sells the rest.”
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So I’m watching the Redskins defense during minicamp — after the club spent its top four draft picks on offense — and I’m thinking: Maybe the league will award the “D” a Compensatory Player and let it play with 12 men instead of 11.
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Jason Taylor reportedly was miffed when he dropped in on Dolphins boss Bill Parcells the other day — during a break from “Dancing With the Stars” — and Parcells ignored him, didn’t say a single word to him. What can I tell ya, Jason? There’s room the Ol’ Coach’s heart for only one Taylor.
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Just wondering: When a guy nicknamed Tuna is hired to run a team called the Dolphins, does that qualify as a mixed metaphor?
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Or is it just a Deluxe Seafood Platter?
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No word yet on whether Marlin Briscoe will rejoin the organization in some capacity.
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While we’re on the subject, anybody got a phone number for Kim Herring?
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News item: The Buffalo Bills will rake in $78 million over the next five seasons to play eight games in Toronto.
Comment: If they win six of them, I’m told, they’ll be eligible for the 2012 CFL playoffs.
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I’ve got no problem with the proposed Congressional Bowl, the postseason college football game that would be played at either RFK Stadium or Nationals Park. But I’ll be disappointed if it isn’t televised on C-SPAN.
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Professional golfers. You’ve gotta love their … self-delusion.
In its annual PGA Tour survey, Sports Illustrated posed the following question to 72 players: “If you went head-to-head against Tiger every week, what would your winning percentage be?”
More than half of them said they would finish ahead of Woods at least 20 percent of the time. Maybe they were talking about the Tiger Woods video game. According to my calculations, only eight players in all of golfdom beat Tiger that often in 2007 — and Phil Mickelson (2-12 in 14 tournaments vs. Woods, .143 winning percentage), Adam Scott (ditto) and Vijay Singh (1-14-1, .094) weren’t among them.
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The “Elite” Eight:
1. K.J. Choi (4-9, .308)
2. Sean O’Hair (3-7, .300)
3. Geoff Ogilvy (3-11-1, .233)
3. Stewart Cink (3-11-1, .233)
5. Ernie Els (2-9-2, .231)
5. Jim Furyk (2-9-2, .231)
7. Sergio Garcia (3-11, .214)
8. Henrik Stenson (2-9-1, .208)
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The Hopeless Cases:
Robert Allenby (0-15-1)
Charles Howell III (0-14-1)
Brett Wetterich (0-14-1)
Rory Sabbatini (0-13-1)
Mark Calcavecchia (0-12)
Woody Austin (0-12)
Camilo Villegas (0-12)
Nick Watney (0-11)
Arron Oberholser (0-10-1)
Justin Leonard (0-10)
Tim Clark (0-10)
John Senden (0-10)
•••
I think I understand a little better now the basis of the Woods-Howell friendship: Tiger is the Harlem Globetrotters, and Charlie is the Washington Generals.
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Third Party Candidate: Chris Foster of the Los Angeles Times notes that Larry Brown, the Charlotte Bobcats’ new coach, has had a “coast-to-coast career that spans 10 states. In the political arena, those states would give Brown 214 electoral votes, only 56 shy of the presidency.”
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Is it my imagination, or is Alex Ovechkin up for every NHL award except Zamboni Driver of the Year?
•••
And finally …
Seriously, every other day, it seems, the Capitals’ PR staff e-mails me about Ovechkin being a finalist for some piece of hardware or other. The most recent is the Lester B. Pearson Award, given by the NHL Players Association to the “most outstanding player” in the league. By the time this offseason is over, Alexander the Great is going to corner the Silver Market.
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