Inside the Beltway

No beard?

“I thought this was the line for Santa.”

Or so Fox News Channel’s “Fox & Friends” co-host Steve Doocy informed Vice President Dick Cheney, after standing in a long line to have his picture taken with the latter at his annual Christmas party.

Average Joe

In a strange political twist, Democratic presidential hopeful Sen. Joe Lieberman is touting an endorsement (of sorts) of his candidacy by President Bush.

“[C]onsider this recent report,” writes Craig Smith, campaign director and senior adviser to Mr. Lieberman, forwarding an Australian news clipping in which Mr. Bush told Australian Prime Minister John Howard that Joe Lieberman is the opponent he fears most.

The daily newspaper Down Under reported that Mr. Bush told Mr. Howard that Mr. Lieberman would be his most “formidable opponent” in the 2004 presidential election, assuming “he won the primaries.”

Meanwhile, Inside the Beltway yesterday reviewed 22 of the latest presidential polls conducted by major polling companies of registered voters who are either Democrats or Democratic-leaning independents. In virtually every nationwide survey, former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean is the front-runner. (The only time Mr. Dean doesn’t lead is when Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton is thrown into the equation, at which time she commands an overwhelming first-place standing.)

As for Mr. Lieberman, in all 22 polls, he finishes anywhere from a distant second to fourth place, depending on the company conducting the canvassing.

Please vote

Here’s a handy list of upcoming primaries and caucuses for Democratic readers:

Jan. 19: Iowa caucus

Jan. 27: New Hampshire primary

Feb. 3: Arizona, Delaware, Missouri, South Carolina and Oklahoma primaries; New Mexico and North Dakota caucuses

Feb. 7: Michigan primary; Washington caucus

Feb. 8: Maine caucus

Feb. 10: Tennessee and Virginia primaries

Feb. 14: D.C. caucus

Feb. 17: Wisconsin primary

Feb. 24: Utah primary; Idaho caucus

March 2: California, Connecticut, Georgia, Maryland, Massachusetts, New York, Ohio, Rhode Island and Vermont primaries and Minnesota caucus.

I hereby resolve

’Tis the season for New Year’s resolutions, and as we usher in 2004, we thought we’d give readers the opportunity to tell politicians in Washington what you’d like to hear them resolve to accomplish in the coming year.

Perhaps there’s a resolution you’d like President Bush to make. For example: “I resolve in 2004 to once and for all flush coward Osama bin Laden, dead or alive, from his hiding place.”

Or maybe there’s a resolution you’d like to hear from Democratic presidential candidate Joe Lieberman, such as: “I resolve never again to trust Al Gore.”

See how easy that was?

Put on your thinking caps and e-mail your, um, their New Year’s resolutions to jmccaslin@washingtontimes.com. Please include the name of the politician(s) and the suggested resolution(s), along with your name (initials will suffice) and hometown.

We will publish on New Year’s Day as many resolutions as will fit in this space.

Eschewing meat?

Any sensible person would

Avoid a mad cow if he could,

But I’m willing to take

A rare chance with a steak

’Cause there’s nothing that tastes so good.

— F.R. Duplantier

Panic prices

“You left out the best fact,” writes Inside the Beltway reader Bob Timms of Haddonfield, N.J., regarding our “cow facts” item yesterday. (We reminded Americans that the mad cow disease agent is not found in muscle meat that humans consume, such as steaks, roast or ground beef.)

“The panic many people are now letting seize their intellect ought to cause a temporary drop in steak prices,” Mr. Timms notes. “My taste buds are ready. Betcha yours are, too.”

• John McCaslin, a nationally syndicated columnist, can be reached at 202/636-3284 or jmccaslin@washingtontimes.com.