Moms in action

When Melody Webb sent her youngest child off to preschool last September, she got a lot more than two “free” mornings a week. “All of a sudden the world was a really different place,” says the Southwest Washington resident and mother of two who gave up a career in the public interest sector to be a stay-at-home mom. “I found new ways to create options for what I want to do.”

Stay-at-home mothers often find themselves with more time and more options once they have sent that last child off to school. Some nurture their interests or indulge in hobbies. Others start home-based businesses. Still others go back to school themselves, but many, such as Ms. Webb, are not all that willing to plunge right back into the 9-to-5 workday world.

“I almost went back to work when the economy went bad,” says Ms. Webb, a lawyer who graduated from Harvard College, Harvard Law School and the D.C. public school system, “but we decided that there were quality-of-life issues that mattered more.”

Often, the same concerns that pulled moms out of the job market in the first place cause them to redefine their jobs once their children are off at school.

“I think moms are very creative about developing businesses and other things around their children’s schedules,” she says. “We want to be there for our children.”

That doesn’t mean that Ms. Webb — who had previously clerked for a D.C. Court of Appeals judge, worked for the Washington Legal Clinic for the Homeless and served as executive director of the Anacostia/Congress Heights Partnership — stopped thinking about other things that were important to her. Since she couldn’t tote her children to congressional hearings or meetings in the Rayburn Building, Ms. Webb came up with a way to connect just the same through volunteer work.

Her Web site (www.lobbyline.com), which she created with the help of her husband, software engineer Steve O’Sullivan, serves as her vehicle to educate on issues that are important to her and connect to her personally as a parent. A sister site (www.securemom.com) that she runs with her husband lobbies for Social Security benefits for stay-at-home parents.

“I needed a way to structure my time around the children’s needs,” Ms. Webb says. “It’s hard to find a job between the hours of drop off and pick up.”

That doesn’t preclude all outside activities.

Ms. Webb serves on the Harvard Club Board and is also active with the D.C. Women’s Bar Association’s Lawyers at Home Committee.

“We talk about parenting and professional development,” she says. “It’s been such a source of renewal, support and inspiration for me.”

Groups such as these are important for stay-at-home moms who need a bit of adult conversation from time to time. There are Internet chat rooms, listservs and scores of books that help stay-at-home moms cope. Even neighborhood committees can help moms find meaningful ways to use new time.

“It’s really important to connect with other mothers like yourself,” says Adriane McCray Webb (no relation to Melody Webb), who is president of the Alexandria chapter of Mocha Moms, a national organization for stay-at-home women of color. The Alexandria group meets every Friday with children in tow for field trips and nature hikes. On the first Friday of the month, the women meet by themselves.

Formalized groups are especially important for women who are newcomers to the community to put down roots, says Mrs. McCray Webb, who moved to the Washington area after her husband, a captain in the Navy, was attached to the inspector general’s office at the Navy Yard. Mocha Moms allows her to chat about nutrition, outings and, of course, what to do in the downtime.

Story Continues →