Fun and Games

ATHENS — No need for the final, disputed score. Mark it down: In terms of sheer Olympic dubiousness, the Athens Olympics outpointed every Games that has come before, as surely as Paul Hamm earned his gold medal.

Everyone ganged up on the judges. Almost everyone flunked a drug test. A lightsaber-wielding centaur said hello to the world.

The Games were ridiculous. They were ignominious. They were — with eternal apologies to Esquire magazine — nothing short of dubious:

I see tangled ribbons in your future

Heading into the Games, the Ukrainian rhythmic gymnastics team claimed it lost the European championships because it was hexed by 15 psychics hired by Team Russia.

The horse also received breast implants and Botox injections

German equestrian rider Ulla Salzgeber booked her horse, Rusty, for a 30-day pre-Olympic stay at a tanning solarium.

“Excuse me, sir? That won’t fit in the overhead bin”

Pole vaulter Dmitri Markov’s pole was lost during his flight from Australia to Greece.

$1.5 billion only buys so much security

A British reporter claimed to have planted three fake bombs around Olympic Stadium, getting into the facility with the aliases “Michael Mouse” and “Robert bin Laden.”

Police were busy looking for Michael Mouse

The synchronized men’s diving competition was interrupted by a fan who sneaked onto the platform, then dived into the water.

Doesn’t he know figure skating is in the Winter Olympics?

The 31-year old man was wearing a tutu and clown shoes.

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