Sunday, February 27, 2005

Would-be Vikings owner Reggie Fowler wants to clear up one last discrepancy on his resume. Fowler says he did not — repeat, did not — compete against Harry Potter in Quidditch.

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Neal from Gaithersburg writes, “Fowler reminds me of the title of a book written about Hollywood a few years ago: ’Hello, He Lied.’”



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Don’t ask me why, but I have a feeling the Eagles are going to make a play for Antonio Pierce.

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Philly, let’s not forget, signed James Thrash and Brian Mitchell in the past. Why not Pierce (as a replacement for just-released Nate Wayne or perhaps Mark Simoneau)?

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Harold Lewis, Wayne’s agent, told the Philadelphia Inquirer “the demand is tremendous” in free agency for linebackers because “the supply … is very low.” That almost precludes Pierce staying with the Redskins.

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Wouldn’t it be bizarre if, a few days after Antoine Walker was traded back to the Celtics, Laveranues Coles was traded back to the Jets?

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Does this mean Ben Wallace might eventually return to the Wizards?

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Deion Sanders is endorsing a hot dog cooker — Deion Sanders’ Hot Dog Express — that goes for $49.95. It comes with a certificate of authenticity signed by Falcons offensive tackle Todd Weiner.

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Deion Sanders’ Hot Dog Express. What’s next, Randy Moss’ Buns?

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We should have seen it coming, I suppose. I mean, Deion’s outfield throws always did have plenty of mustard on them.

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Going head-to-head with George Foreman’s grill, I’ll bet, is something he relishes.

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OK, I’ll knock it off.

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The Red Sox have placed an order with Jostens for 500 World Series rings — one for each of the years from 1918 to 2004.

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Owner John W. Henry is having the players’ names inscribed on the rings “to make each identifiable and peculiar,” the Boston Globe reports.

Also, they’ll be that much easier to sell on EBay in 20 years.

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Then there’s this from the Chicago Sun-Times: The White Sox are giving fans the chance to get married at U.S. Cellular Field — for prices ranging from $750 (offseason) to $10,000 (home plate altar, Stadium Club reception, the works).

Obviously, getting hitched at the ballpark would be symbolic in a lot of ways, especially for a groom who has never gotten past third base.

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Don’t tell Susie O’Malley about this. She might take her “Singles Nights” at MCI Center one step further and offer not only “speed dating” but also “instant matrimony.”

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An upcoming Pax TV series, “Lie Detector,” has invited Jose Canseco to prove his steroid accusations by taking a polygraph on the show.

It doesn’t look like it’s going to happen, though. Jose, I’m told, is holding out for a part in the next “Meet the Parents” sequel, so the lie-detector test can be administered by Robert De Niro.

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The father of Duke basketball star J.J. Redick complained to Virginia Tech athletic director Jim Weaver about crowd control — rather heatedly, according to reports — after the Blue Devils were upset at Cassell Coliseum last weekend. “Lost in all the uproar,” Doug Doughty writes in the Roanoke Times, “is the connection between Hokies head coach Seth Greenberg and the [Redick] family.

“Greenberg’s oldest daughter, Paige, has been dating Redick’s younger brother, David.”

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The “goon” tactics Temple’s John Chaney employed against Saint Joseph’s last week, while unfortunate, are hardly unprecedented. Just a few days earlier, Duke’s Mike Krzyzewski gave benchwarmer Patrick Davidson his first career start against Wake Forest so he could rough up Demon Deacons star Chris Paul in the early going and Set the Tone. As David Knox put it in the Birmingham News, Davidson was inserted “not for his ’game,’ but for his ’maim.’”

Davidson fouled Paul twice in the first two minutes and got a standing ovation when he left — as well as a hug from Coach K. Said Krzyzewski afterward: “I loved how he started us out. Some of the great things that happen in coaching are not just coaching Jason Williams or Grant Hill. They’re coaching Patrick Davidson in a moment like that, and I’m glad I was able to share that moment with him.”

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One last sports-related excerpt from Bob Dylan’s autobiography, “Chronicles: Volume One”:

“One intriguing thing that caught my eye was that in the boxing world Jerry Quarry had fought Jimmy Ellis in Oakland and it was a fired up affair. Jimmy Ellis was a ’take the money and go home’ kind of guy — boxing was a job to him, no more no less. He had a family to feed and didn’t care about becoming a legend or breaking any records. Jerry Quarry, a white boxer, was being touted as the new Great White Hope — an odious designation. Jerry, whose father had come to California on a boxcar, wanted no part of it. … I identified with both Ellis and Quarry and drew an analogy between our situations and responses to it. Like Quarry, I wasn’t going to acknowledge being an emblem, symbol or spokesman either, and like Ellis, I too had a family to feed.”

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The death of Hunter S. Thompson prompted my brother Brian to send along his favorite Hunterisms. Such as:

“If you love something, let it go free. If it doesn’t come back, hunt it down and kill it.”

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Thompson’s sportswriting could be as off-the-wall as his political writing. After the Dolphins beat the Vikings in Super Bowl VIII, for instance, he offered this dubious opinion in Rolling Stone magazine: “[The] gig is over now, and I blame it on Vince Lombardi. The success of his Green Bay approach in the ’60s restructured the game entirely. Lombardi never thought about winning; his trip was not losing. … Which worked, and because it worked the rest of the NFL bought Lombardi’s whole style: Avoid Mistakes, Don’t [Screw] Up, Hang Tough and Take No Chances. … If you play the defensive percentage you’ll get inside [your opponent’s] 30-yard line at least three times in each half, and once you’re inside the 30 you want to be sure to get at least three points. …”

For the record, the Packers put up 37 and 34 points in two of their NFL title games and 35 and 33 in their two Super Bowls. In ’61 and ’62, they led the league in scoring. In ’63, they finished second in the league. And in ’66, they led their conference in scoring. This is playing it safe, playing for the field goal?

But that’s Hunter, for you. He never let the facts get in the way of a good buzz.

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This billionaire who just agreed to buy the Anaheim Mighty Ducks — in the middle of a lockout … Do you think he might be interested in a hot dog cooker?

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The best idea I heard all week: Since there won’t be any Stanley Cup playoffs this year, Canada’s governor general, Adrienne Clarkson, would like to see the Canadian and U.S. women’s teams compete for the Cup. “In [the 2002 Winter Games in] Salt Lake City, we all realized women’s hockey was important,” she said in a television interview. “It was women at their very, very best — and I would love to see that rewarded.”

• • • And finally …

News item: The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show drew higher ratings than last year’s NHL finals — 2.9 to hockey’s 2.4.

Comment: And if the NHL thinks canceling the season is going to change the situation any, it’s barking up the wrong tree.

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