Revising history

Brian Williams, main character of the dark, prime-time NBC satire called “The Nightly News,” is now a finalist, with Newsweek Magazine and Sen. Dick Durbin, for the title, “Revisionist Historian of The Year.”

The honor goes to the creator of the biggest whopper defaming America and/or Americans for which an apology is required. The judges must decide if the recipient created the fiction out of malevolence or ignorance. No extra points are awarded for stupidity.

Newsweek had the inside track on the prize until the editors retracted an unsubstantiated charge that Americans flushed a Koran down a toilet at the terrorist detention facility at Guantanamo Bay. A few weeks later, Mr. Durbin claimed the honor by imaginatively comparing members of America’s Armed Forces with those of Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin and Cambodia’s Pol Pot. He subsequently kind-of apologized for giving “some people” a “mistaken impression.”

Now, Mr. Williams has moved to the fore with a delightful fiction that America’s Founding Fathers are no different than Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the Islamic radical recently selected as next president of Iran. On June 30, after a report Mr. Ahmadinejad might have been among those who sacked our Tehran embassy and seized 52 American hostages in 1979, Mr. Williams said, “What would it all matter if proven true?… The first several U.S. presidents were certainly revolutionaries and might have been called terrorists at the time.”

To qualify for the award as “Revisionist Historian of the Year,” the statement must be patently untrue but widely accepted as the truth. In the case of Newsweek’s “Koran in the Guantanamo toilet” claim, the charge was thoroughly refuted by reputable investigators — but widely accepted as fact in the Islamic media. Mr. Durbin’s fabrication was mathematically implausible since more than 30 million people perished in Khmer Rouge, Nazi and Soviet detention, while none have died at Guantanamo. Nonetheless it continues to be repeated throughout the Islamic world.

Judging Mr. Williams’ creation is a more difficult task, requiring knowledge of both Mr. Ahmadinejad’s words and deeds — as well as those of “the first several U.S. presidents.” Since recent polls show most of Mr. Williams’ viewers cannot even recite the names of “the first several U.S. presidents” — and know even less about the new Iranian president — awarding Mr. Williams the prize is problematic. If he wants the recognition he deserves, Mr. Williams should answer some of the following:

c Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Iran’s new president, has proudly proclaimed his membership in the Pasdaran — the Iranian Revolutionary Guards Corps, responsible for seizing the U.S. Embassy and holding American diplomats and Marines hostage for 444 days. He claims he backed the embassy seizure only because the Ayatollah Khomeini wanted it. Mr. Ahmadinejad insists he did not take part, but at least four former hostages say the president-“elect” was among their captors.

Iranian reformers — not allowed to run in the presidential “election” Mr. Ahmadinejad “won” — claim in the 1980s he was with the “Internal Security” department of the IRGC and responsible for “interrogations, torture and executions.” According to current and former IRGC leaders, during the same time, the organization helped the Hezbollah terrorist organization kidnap Americans in Beirut, killing 241 Marines at the barracks near the Beirut airport and twice blowing up the U.S. Embassy in the Lebanese capital. One of Mr. Ahmadinejad’s most memorable lines: “We did not have a revolution in order to have a democracy.” So far, he has yet to condemn the mass murder in London.

• Mr. Williams doesn’t specify, but “the first several U.S. presidents” must include George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, James Monroe and perhaps Andrew Jackson — the last U.S. president who served in the American Revolution.

• George Washington commanded the Continental Army — in uniform, not as a terrorist. The warrant against him by the British Crown charged him with rebellion — not terrorism. There is no record Washington ever was involved in torture, hostage-taking or murder, but we know he repatriated British diplomats. One of his most memorable lines: “It will be found an unjust and unwise jealousy to deprive a man of his natural liberty upon the supposition he may abuse it.”

• John Adams, Thomas Jefferson and James Madison served in civil and/or diplomatic capacities during the Revolution. None was involved in any known acts of terror against the British or their allies. Their most memorable lines are found in the Record of the Continental Congress, the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of the United States.

• James Monroe as an officer in the Continental Army was wounded in the Battle of Trenton. There is no record of any involvement in torturing hostages or any acts of terrorism. His most notable lines were in the Monroe Doctrine.

• John Quincy Adams was a child during the Revolution and committed no known acts of terrorism. He is best remembered for advocating the abolition of slavery during the 17 years he served in the House of Representatives after being president.

• Andrew Jackson served in the Continental Army as a teen-ager. His face bore the scar of a British officer’s saber cut — a wound inflicted after young Jackson refused to clean his captor’s boots. His best lines were in opposition to a government banking system.

To those who know the facts, the difference between Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and “the first several U.S. presidents” is stark and profound. That’s what makes Brian Williams’ gross distortion so breathtaking in scope and so appealing to those who hate America and Americans, especially after what just happened in London. On the bright side, Mr. Williams may have clinched the title: “Revisionist Historian of the Year.”

Oliver North is a nationally syndicated columnist and founder and honorary chairman of Freedom Alliance.