High-tech world with little real connection

“What is that hanging from your ear?” I ask. Glancing into the rearview mirror, I can see only the right edge of my daughter’s face and a thin, gray wire hanging in her hair.

But of course, I’m not really asking, “What is it?”

I’m asking, “Why is an ear-bud headphone in one ear while you are engaged in conversation with other human beings?”

“I can hear you perfectly, Mom,” my daughter answers defensively. She can see where this is going.

Whether she can hear me perfectly is not my issue. This is not a long car trip on which I permit my children to plug into their personal music devices to pass the time. It’s a 10-minute drive to the doctor’s office for flu shots, offering us a chance to catch up about the busy school day and get a handle on the homework load for the evening.

“I may not have mentioned this before, but wandering around the planet with an ear bud in your head is rude,” I say. “I know kids do it all the time, but it’s bad manners unless you’re alone and you don’t expect to talk to people.”

“Good point,” she says as she stuffs the cord in her pocket. “Besides, I don’t really know how my friends do this. I keep thinking I’m going to answer your questions by repeating the song lyrics.”

In today’s culture of “cool,” a single ear-bud headphone placed in one ear is typical for teens. This leaves the other ear open to take cell-phone calls. Really cool teens even have personal digital assistants — PDAs — to connect to the Internet and e-mail no matter where they go.

All of this technology is designed for communication. Teens keep in touch with instant messages, text messages, voice messages and photo messages. They even have developed code languages to help them transmit information quickly, without using actual words (LOL — laugh out loud).

However, if the conversations I hear between my children and their friends are any indication, all this technology may be robbing some young people of the ability to talk. What we’ve gained in immediacy we’ve lost in polite conversation.

Case in point: One day last summer, my daughter invited a friend to spend the afternoon at our house. We drove to her home to pick her up, and when she climbed into the car, my daughter initiated a friendly conversation.

“How’s your summer going?”

“Fine.” (Not, “Fine, how about yours?” Just “fine.”)

“What have you been doing?” she tried again.

“Nothing.” (Not, “Nothing. What about you?” Just “nothing.”)

Story Continues →