A suit to go with his tote bag

Can you believe this guy who’s suing the Angels for discrimination because they wouldn’t give him a red nylon tote bag during a Mother’s Day promotion last year?

What’s next, Bruce Wayne obtaining a restraining order to keep teams from holding Bat Days?

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News item: National Security Agency said to be secretly gathering telephone records of millions of Americans.

Comment: Not to worry, folks. It’ll probably take the agency months just to weed through all the illegal calls Kelvin Sampson made to Oklahoma basketball recruits.

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Too bad the NSA didn’t do this sooner. We could have found out who Pete Rose was really talking to on the dugout phone — his bullpen coach or his bookie.

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I’m not saying the government is jumpy, but I hear it obtained a log of helmet-radio transmissions in 2003 from Steve Spurrier to Gibran Hamdan.

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Getting back to Sampson, OU officials have determined the former Sooners coach and his staff made more than 550 impermissible calls between 2000 and 2004. I’m pretty sure that’s an NCAA record, by the way — for most impermissible calls not involving a 900 number.

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Elsewhere in college sports, erstwhile Nebraska football coach Tom Osborne lost the Republican primary for governor in the Cornhusker State by six percent. Not surprisingly, though, he still won the BCS poll.

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O.J. Simpson is set to star in a “Candid Camera”-type program — “Juiced,” available on pay-per-view. In one scene, aired last week on “Inside Edition,” Simpson pretends to sell a white Ford Bronco at a used car lot, telling the prospective buyer, “It was good for me; it helped me get away.”

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