Research proves it: teens don’t use brains

There is something parents of teenagers sometimes say when faced with the reckless, thoughtless and self-absorbed behavior of their offspring.

It’s perhaps not the kindest thing we could say, but it turns out it’s entirely true.

What we say is: “For crying out loud, why don’t you use your brain?”

We pose this rhetorical question when our teens drive cars that have illuminated low-fuel warnings until the engine dies on the roadside or when they leave expensive miniature electronic devices in the pockets of bluejeans headed for the washer.

We ask this question when our teens succumb to peer pressure or lead a group of friends into a dangerous situation. We always ask it when the police are involved.

And of course, it’s the only thing to say when teens open their mouths and utter the unkind and insensitive — yet routine — comments for which adolescents are well known, such as, “You’re such a jerk,” “You’re a moron” and “I hate you” (a comment made all the more hurtful by the sound of a slamming door).

Well, it turns out “Why don’t you use your brain?” isn’t just a belittling, sarcastic, frustrated expression of parental indignation.

Separate studies by researchers at the National Institutes of Health and the University College London prove what parents have known for generations. Teens don’t use their brains.

Apparently, the part of the brain that inhibits risky behavior may not be fully developed until age 25. This explains the pricing of auto insurance.

In addition to lacking the brainpower to assess risk and act accordingly, the region of the brain associated with higher-level thinking — empathy, guilt and understanding the motivation of others — is underused by teenagers. Instead, teens rely on the posterior area of the brain — the part involved with perceiving and imagining actions.

So there it is. All this time, we’ve been asking our teens “Why don’t you use your brain?” and the answer they have been giving us — “Um … I don’t know” — turns out to be true.

Research is good, and I want to be an enlightened parent, so I’m glad to know what I reasonably should expect from my children in each developmental stage. In fact, this has been my M.O. in parenting — find out what’s considered “normal” (give or take) and then set my expectations accordingly.

I learned this strategy early in my parenting career. Katie, my oldest, was about 2 years old when my aunt came for a visit. A social worker and mother of four, she was one of my role models and mentors in parenting. I was always eager to hear Aunt Mary’s advice.

She watched Katie wandering around our back yard, eating dirt and sticking mulch in her ears (OK, I’m exaggerating about the mulch), and she said something I never forgot: “A 2-year-old should behave a lot like a well-trained golden retriever. She should feed herself, nap frequently and come when she’s called.”

Katie didn’t come when she was called, so my aunt’s insight gave me something to work on.

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