- The Washington Times - Sunday, September 14, 2008

So I’m reading about Slovakia’s 82-0 victory over Bulgaria in women’s ice hockey, and I’m thinking, “Did they actually finish the game, or did they have to stop playing when the red light burned out?”

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Twelve Slovakians had hat tricks, including the bus driver and the team nutritionist.

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Hockey observers say they haven’t seen that much scoring since Ron Duguay, the former Rangers heart throb, was hitting the discos in New York.

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Believe it or not, it was an Olympic qualifying game. I’m beginning to wonder if the Bulgarians might have messed up and sent their curling team by mistake.

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Elsewhere in Olympicsland, a Norwegian physicist says Usain Bolt’s gold-medal winning time in the 100-meters final could have been 9.55 instead of 9.69 if he hadn’t begun his chest-thumping celebration with 20 meters to go.

I’m told the same physicist, after analyzing old TV footage, claims Fridge Perry could have run 4.4 40 if he’d just weighed 100 pounds less.

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Dennis Green has trademarked his famous phrase, “They are who we thought they were,” - the line he kept spitting out in his post-game interview, to comic effect, after his Cardinals relinquished a 20-point lead to the Bears two years ago.

“I thought if anybody was going to capitalize on it, it should be me,” he told CNBC. “I’m pretty good at coming up with phrases. … I was one of the first guys to use the phrase, ‘There’s a new sheriff in town.’”

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Eddie Murphy, after restoring order in a bar in the 1982 film, “48 Hours”: “I want the rest of you cowboys to know something: There’s a new sheriff in town, and his name is Reggie Hammond.”

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