Did you see the radar-gun readings for Pedro Martinez during Game 2 of the NLCS? By the fifth inning, most of Pedro’s pitches couldn’t have gotten arrested for speeding.
In Montana, anyway.
Now we know why the Phillies signed Martinez and moved Jamie Moyer to the bullpen. Moyer wasn’t throwing slow enough.
I’m tellin’ ya, compared to Pedro, Moyer is Nuke LaLoosh.
I don’t think we have to worry about anybody charging the mound on Martinez. When the Dodgers’ Russell Martin got plunked by one of Pedro’s 76 mph specials, he reacted like he’d been hit by a paper airplane.
This much seems clear: Whatever Martinez is on, it ain’t fertility drugs.
We almost witnessed a Great Moment in Baseball History the other night. In the Yankees-Angels opener, Mark Teixeira missed by a few feet becoming the first player to hit a postseason homer… in a game in which he wore a cap with earflaps.
(If somebody else - say, Admiral Byrd or the Abominable Snowman - has already accomplished this feat, the Sunday Column sincerely apologizes.)
No joke: If it was any colder Friday night in New York, Mike Scioscia would have had to switch from the hit-and-run to the hit-and-runny-nose.
Didn’t think Manny Acta would get another managing shot so soon, but he’s reportedly in the running in Cleveland. The Indians must be looking for somebody who has a lot of experience with 100-loss teams.
Elsewhere in baseball, Frank and Jamie McCourt, whose marriage appears headed for divorce, are both claiming ownership of the Dodgers. So we could be looking at a nasty legal fight, folks - or worse, joint custody of Manny Ramirez.
Did you read about the flare-up at the Presidents Cup? Robert Allenby accused Anthony Kim of partying until the wee hours on the day of their singles match; Kim, of course, denied it after waxing the Australian 5 and 3, saying, “Maybe he needs to practice a bit more.”
Idle thought: Maybe it was Allenby who got plastered and - oh, I dunno - confused Anthony Kim with Lil’ Kim.
I mean, if Anthony had really been drunk, he probably would have lost the match 7 and 7.
Golf Digest has updated its rankings of the best athlete-golfers and, well, would you want to be anywhere near the top on this list?
Would you want to be accused of spending too much thinking about swing planes and not enough about swing passes (Tony Romo, No. 1, plus-2.8 handicap)?
Would you want people to say, “Maybe if he used a Big Bertha instead of a racket, he’d have won more than three ATP tournaments” (Mardy Fish, T-6, scratch player)?
Tied for the sixth spot with Fish, by the way, is on-again-off-again Washington National Livan Hernandez.
To which I say: Beware the pitcher whose handicap (0) is lower than his ERA (5.44).
Here’s what I love: Livan is the golfer, and yet hitters tee off on him.
It’s been a heck of a few years for Dan Marino, you’ve gotta admit. He dropped three-tenths of a stroke on his handicap, moving him into Golf Digest’s top 20, and he dropped 22 pounds on the Nutrisystem diet.
Speaking of Mardy, he’s the inspiration for this week’s trivia question, which is: Name the famous tennis player who won three majors, including back-to-back U.S. Opens, then turned to golf and was good enough to reach the semifinals of the 1951 PGA Championship (back when it was match play)?
Turning to football, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones says coach Wade Phillips will finish out the season “without equivocation.”
Oh, great. Marion Barber is playing hurt, Felix Jones has missed the last two games and now Wade is going to have to get by without Equivocation.
Been trying to decide if there’s any connection between Thurman Thomas’ statue being stolen in Buffalo and, a month earlier, Cal Ripken’s No. 8 statue being swiped in Baltimore.
The only thing I’ve come up with so far is that Thomas was 0-for-4 in Super Bowls - and Cal didn’t win any, either.
Going into Saturday night’s matchup with SMU, Navy quarterback Ricky Dobbs had scored 14 touchdowns in the Mids’ first six games. This puts him on pace to break the school record of 21 - set by Bill Ingram way back in 1917.
It bears mentioning, though, that Ingram’s mark, which has stood for nearly a century, came in an eight-game season. Navy put up some serious points that year under famed coach Gil Dobie, who had just come to Annapolis after posting a 65-0-3 record at Washington and North Dakota State. The Mids won by scores of 62-0 (Maryland), 61-0 (Carlisle), 89-0 (Haverford), 95-0 (Western Reserve) and 80-3 (Villanova).
Ingram later coached Navy to an undefeated (9-0-1) season in 1926. If Dobbs is looking for something else to shoot for, he might try that.
Answer to trivia question: Ellsworth Vines. Vines won Wimbledon and the U.S. Open in 1932 and the Open again in ’33. Eighteen years later, he almost faced Sam Snead in the final of the PGA Championship but blew a 2-up lead with two holes to play against Walter Burkemo in the semis. Vines also finished ahead of Cary Middlecoff in the ’47 Masters and was T-14 in the ’48 U.S. Open.
Kinda makes Mardy Fish look like a minnow, doesn’t it?
And finally…
The NBA has officially redefined my favorite infraction, traveling. Instead of being allowed only one step to stop, pass or shoot, which has been the written rule since time immemorial, players will now get two steps.
To review:
Two steps: perfectly legal.
Three steps: borderline traveling.
Four steps: almost always traveling (except when Kobe does it).
Five steps: definitely traveling (except when LeBron does it).
Six steps: still traveling, but the player gets an autographed picture of Michael Jordan.
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