Talk about your irony.
Democrats, who have declared that Republicans are engaging in a "war against women," will be led at their national convention this week by Bill Clinton, whose list of reported transgressions against women is, well, let's say, long.
Though the mainstream media has considered the matter overwrought, and the former president is now held to be a brilliant elder statesman intent on fixing the world's problems through his global consortium, it is worth pondering, as the 42nd president prepares to take the stage to nominate President Obama, the many transgressions toward women committed by The Man From Hope.
Let's whoosh through ol' Bubba's history real quick-like: There was Dolly Kyle Browning, a high school classmate who said she has had a sexual relationship with Bubba for 30 years; Gennifer Flowers, a cabaret singer and former Arkansas government employee, who claimed a 12-year affair; Paula Jones, another state employee with a sordid tale; Monica Lewinsky, the 22-year-old White House intern who, eh, you know the story; and, whoa, too many more — another state worker, at least three former holders of the Miss Arkansas title, a one-time White House employee who said she was sexually fondled by the Bubster in the Oval Office.
Hillary Rodham Clinton, apparently, was never too worked up about the charges — all that was just a personal matter between husband and wife. But the Secretary of State and former first lady, it should be noted, is tonight 7,127 miles away from Charlotte, N.C., in Beijing. Scheduling conflict.
Rush Limbaugh, for his part, suggested Republicans smash the hanging Clinton curveball out of the park during their own convention. "You could have a Republican theme night: War on women," he said. "You could have women on the stage like Paula Jones, Gennifer Flowers, Monica Lewinsky, Kathleen Willey, Elizabeth Gracen, Juanita Broaddrick, Sally Perdue."
But the GOP took the high road and left the low-hanging fruit. Instead, they brought to the podium a stream of smart, powerful and diverse women — the first black female Secretary of State, governors, congresswomen, senators.
NBC's woman expert Chuck Todd puzzled about all the GOP diversity. "Let me ask you, though, this one question," he said to Los Angeles' Hispanic mayor: "Why is it that the Republicans have elected more women governors and have two Hispanic governors, and the Democrats don't?"
The answer was expectedly lame. "Democrats wish they had the diversity of speakers and deep bench to show America," the toady talking head said.
Rae Lynne Chornenky, president of National Federation of Republican Women, boiled it all down from the podium in Tampa.
"We hear a lot from the media about the Republican's 'so-called' war against women. Well, which women? Is it the 850,000 women who have lost their jobs under President Obama? Or the women whose family household income has dropped by $4,300 since the president took office?" she said to peels of applause.
"If there is a war against women, it is President Obama who has waged it," she declared.
In 2012's war for women, nothing is out of bounds for Democrats. Deposed House Speaker Nancy Pelosi ("my grandkids call me Mimi") took to the stage in Charlotte with a throng of women lawmakers behind her. They complained about — well, everything.
Not on the convention stage, though, was Sandra Fluke, the 30-year-old college student who whined that her birth control should be paid for by America's taxpayers. Far away from the hall, she said GOP vice presidential nominee Paul Ryan's abortion position would literally kill women.
Underneath it all, trouble looms for the president: 10 million more women than men voted in 2008, and the president is fading fast among the powerful demographic. He has dropped 11 points among female registered voters since April, the latest ABC/Post poll showed.
But the GOP's "war on women" will be front and center throughout this week's Democratic convention. Let's just hope that tonight, Mr. Clinton brings up Mr. Obama's signature women's rights issue, the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act — because only Bubba truly knows the value of a woman's services.
• Joseph Curl covered the White House and politics for a decade for The Washington Times. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.