DEAR MS. VICKI: Don’t make husband re-enlist

Hello Ms. Vicki,

My husband is refusing to re-enlist in the Army in March. I think he has lost his mind. He claims that he is tired of all the deployments.

I’m not buying it. I told him he should man up and stop acting like a scared little boy. The economy is too bad. Where does the think he will find employment? I keep telling him there are no jobs anywhere in our country and he needs to stay in the Army.

Besides, Ms. Vicki, he could get a $20,000 bonus if he re-enlists. Doesn’t he know what we could do with all that money? We could pay off bills and maybe even take a vacation.

I’ve learned to cope with deployments, and he has, too. There’s nothing to it. He doesn’t even go beyond the wire anyway, so what is he so concerned about?

He has this idea that he will return to coastal Alabama and open up a fishing tackle company. What? He says this is his dream job. He can’t be serious - who is going to lend him money to start a fishing tackle company? Hasn’t he been reading about the recession and how all the banks have no money either?

Ms. Vicki, I’ve been an Army wife now for six years, and I like it. Help me persuade my husband to stay in the Army. We need a retirement check!

- He Doesn’t Get It!

Dear Doesn’t Get It,

I don’t think you get it! Your husband doesn’t want to re-enlist. You can’t make him, nor should you try.

Just a tidbit of information: The age of enlistment for the Army has increased. Why don’t you contact a recruiter to see if you are eligible? Let’s see if you like being the service member and coping with multiple deployments. Your husband may even enjoy being the military spouse; there are many male military spouses who enjoy being supportive to their service-member wives.

He dreams of having a fishing tackle shop. What’s wrong with him pursuing his dream? Yes, you are right, the economy is tough, and we are in a recession. Many people report having a difficult time getting business loans, etc. However, nothing beats a failure but a try. Let him try, OK?

In your defense, your husband needs to start getting business and financial advice now. If he is not going to re-enlist in March, he must transition to employment while he works on his business venture. It may not happen overnight, but I believe in preparation and a plan. I wish you all the best. Stay in touch and let me know what happens.

Ms. Vicki,

Please help me understand why military wives have all of these extra duties just to stay married to someone in the military? My husband is not in the military and never would be, but I’m friends with some military people from work.

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