WETZSTEIN: It’s not always just about you

Second of two parts

There’s a popular poster in which a house cat sits in front of a mirror that reflects the image of a lion. “What matters most is how you see yourself,” the caption says.

That’s just a bunch of kitty litter, say psychology professors Jean Twenge and W. Keith Campbell, authors of “The Narcissism Epidemic, Living in the Age of Entitlement.”

Thinking you’re great and actually being great are two different things, they say. Sadly, after 40 years of happy talk about self-esteem, too many people actually believe that when they wear their favorite T-shirts, they really are a “Hottie” or “2 Cool 4 You.”

This kind of individual narcissism is just the tip of the iceberg, Ms. Twenge and Mr. Campbell say. The entire American culture appears to be revolving around rampant materialism, hair-trigger aggressiveness, vanity, shallow sexuality and rabid desires for attention and fame.

And the narcissism seems to be becoming more ingrained with time, they say. Research finds that today’s college students register higher on the Narcissistic Personality Inventory compared to students in the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s.

What to do? First, become aware of what narcissism is.

“Five or 10 years ago, people didn’t know what that word meant, but now it’s started to enter the popular lexicon,” said Ms. Twenge, who teaches at San Diego State University.

“It’s used by public figures — John Edwards, in talking about his affair, used narcissism to explain his behavior, and when [former New York Gov.] Eliot Spitzer got in trouble, people used the word narcissism to describe some of his problems,” she said.

The rise in narcissism is partly due to the self-esteem movement (which is still heavily practiced in schools), say Ms. Twenge and Mr. Campbell, a professor at the University of Georgia. Both are married parents with young children.

This, in turn, has affected parenting.

“Not that long ago, kids knew who the boss was — and it wasn’t them,” they wrote.

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