Lindsay Lohan presents a smaller-than-life Liz Taylor

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On his and Taylor’s second wedding day, Burton, loutish as ever, toasts their tortured relationship thusly: “They love, they drink, they fight, they fornicate, they marry, they divorce, they marry again. Really, how long can this show run?”

How long, indeed, the viewer will be wondering.

“Liz & Dick” comes down to this: It doesn’t do Taylor or Burton any favors (nor, of course, could any such trifle do their legends any harm).

And whatever Miss Lohan’s hopes for a comeback at age 26, this flyweight endeavor won’t restore any luster to its fallen star.

If only it were worse.

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