Weighing her options: a career-counseling guide for Sarah Palin

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Children’s book author

Pros: Ms. Couric wrote two. Madonna wrote a bunch. Professional football pass catcher-cum-diva Terrell Owens has a children’s book. So does former NBA star/one-man human carnival Dennis Rodman. If patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel, then writing a children’s book — by which we mean “finding a talented illustrator and showing up for a few book signings” — is the first refuge of a celebrity looking to diversify their fame portfolio.

Cons: None. Would undoubtedly provide comic fodder for late-night monologues, but at this point in Mrs. Palin’s career, what’s left to joke about?

Odds: 1-2. Frankly, we’re stunned this hasn’t happened already.

Advice columnist

Pros:Mrs. Palin has — to put it mildly — been through a lot. Why not share some of what she’s learned about coping with the ups and downs of life? “She’d be a great advice columnist because she’s what people who seek advice want,” said Florida-based advice columnist April Masini. “They’re looking for a strong point of view. They want you to be their moral compass. Palin answers reporter questions because she has to, but really, she’d like to tell the reporters and the rest of us what we should be doing. And eventually, she will.”

Cons: When was the last time a serious politician wrote advice columns on the side? (Come to think of it, that would be kind of awesome, especially if it were an official vice presidential duty. Is it too late for a constitutional amendment?)

Odds: 500-1. And too bad. A 2008 live advice debate between Vice President Joseph R. Biden and Mrs. Palin would have been amazing.

Infomercial spokes-human

Pros:Mrs. Palin is a fitness enthusiast. She’s youthful-looking. She could sell skin cream, exercise videos — eyeglasses. She could host a QVC show tomorrow.

“You could see her hosting a late night infomercial for a workout DVD,” said a West Coast public relations executive. “‘The Mama Grizzly Workout.’ The moves will be inspired by her hunting days in Alaska and her jogs in Arizona. She can also use the videos as a platform to further the Republican message of personal responsibility — what’s a better way of taking responsibility for yourself than working out at home? Who needs Michelle Obama’s nanny state vegetable regulations when you have the Mama Grizzly workout to keep you fit?”

Cons: We really can’t see any. Said the public relations executive: “The success of the workout DVD will inspire a fitness empire, similarly to the way Bethenny Frankel expanded her line of Skinny Girl products. Soon, you’ll see Mama Grizzly workout attire, dumbbells, jump ropes, water bottles; eventually, you’ll see Palin on the covers of Fortune and Forbes.”

Odds: 1,000-1. Selling out is definitely a “Real Housewives” cast member move — and since Mrs. Palin reportedly was making $1 million annually at Fox, she likely doesn’t need the money.

Reality show contestant

Pros: In 2010, Mrs. Palin’s reality show “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” was the TLC network’s most-watched series premiere, drawing nearly 5 million viewers. Mrs. Palin’s daughter Bristol enjoyed a nice run on “Dancing With the Stars.” And who wouldn’t watch Mrs. Palin go into lipstick pit bull mode on “Survivor?”

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