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Mrs. Allen has become the main income provider for her family and is responsible for teaching their daughters at home and driving them to dance lessons — all the while caring for her husband, who recently had a painful bout of shingles.

At first, she said, it was like being “dragged through the hallway of hell.”

The Allens began home-schooling their daughters after they had been teased about their father’s condition at school, sometimes by other military children.

Mrs. Allen said she sometimes feels isolated in their Clarksville community, shunned by active-duty military families.

“We’re the reality check,” she said.

She starts each day at 6 a.m. and works until lunchtime, when she home-schools her daughters for three hours and then shuttles them to and from dance class and other extracurricular activities. Afterward, she makes dinner, continues her tax preparation work and nonprofit work and takes care of her husband, who also helps teach the girls and aspires to return to college.

The Rand Corp. study shows that about two-thirds of caregivers have suffered some kind of emotional stress. Others showed a higher rate of depression — from 40 percent to 70 percent — and an incidence of chronic health conditions almost twice that of non-caregivers.

“There is no support for caregivers. It’s all put together by nonprofits,” Mrs. Allen said.

She said she manages with the support of family, friends and her faith as a Christian Baptist. She also is receiving some help from nonprofit groups, one of which is helping build a house for the Allens to better accommodate her husband, who has difficulty getting around their two-story home.

Other programs exist to help caregivers, such as online resources, respite care, training and support networks, but Ms. Tanielian said there’s not enough information to assess whether they are effective, since this generation of military caregiving is relatively young and little is known about them and their experiences.

Mrs. Allen, who maintains a blog about her experiences, says she has been invited to the Pentagon to talk to now-retired Gen. Peter W. Chiarelli, former Army vice chief of staff, and also serves as director of caregiver services for the Yellow Ribbon Fund program in Bethesda, which provides assistance to wounded warriors.

But Kristy Kaufmann, executive director of Code of Support, worries about the military caregivers who are not as vocal as Mrs. Allen.

“The ones that don’t call and go off the grid those are the ones I worry about the most,” Ms. Kaufmann said, adding that she has known caregivers who have committed suicide because they could no longer cope. “They do this day in and day out with little understanding or support. There is the stigma that they need to be strong. Everybody reaches their breaking point.”