Friday, April 7, 2000

Bachelor life

“When someone asks me if I’m married which, to my considerable annoyance, seems to be happening more and more often these days I usually crack wise. ‘No, I’m happy’ or ‘Not since breakfast,’ are the standard responses. What I’m really aching to say, though, is, ‘No, I’m a bachelor.’ Please note: Not ‘I’m single.’ …

” ‘Single’ is a singularly feckless term that conveys little of interest beyond marital status. By contrast, at the mere mention of ‘bachelor,’ a uniquely tantalizing image is instantly formed: that of a bon vivant, a high liver, a rakish cad with cash (not a gold card) in his pocket and a martini (not a cosmopolitan) in his hand… .

“Bachelors are heartbreakers. They own little black books. Their looks kill. Bachelordom, in short, is a state of masculine grace. Think ‘single’ on the other hand, and you think ‘incomplete.’ … The bachelor is a staple of popular culture in a way that a single simply isn’t.

John Forsythe was never exactly a party kind of guy, but can you imagine tuning in to watch him on something called ‘Single Father’? … Felix Unger and Oscar Madison were bachelors first and divorced men second. James Bond, of course, was a bachelor incarnate. As if to settle any doubts on that score, his archenemy Blofeld came along on the day of his wedding to Teresa Draco to blow the bride away.”

Thomas Vinciguerra in “Batching It” in the April issue of the American Spectator

Gay media

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