Sharing life stories is a great way for the older generation and the younger to bond, according to the Legacy Project, a nonprofit organization aimed at building intergenerational connections.
Younger people will find their connection to others and to the bigger world by hearing about their history, says Susan V. Bosak, chairwoman of the Legacy Project.
The group offers the following tips for youngsters when interviewing older adults:
• An interview is just like talking with someone, but with prepared questions.
• Ask questions clearly and slowly, giving the person time to answer. Repeat questions if necessary.
• Listen carefully to what the person says; don’t interrupt or correct. Maintain eye contact and show interest by leaning forward and nodding.
• If someone is talking about an unhappy or painful experience, show that you understand how that person feels. (For example, say, “That’s very sad.”)
• It’s OK for there to be moments of silence or emotion. A person’s life is important, and emotion is natural. Accept emotions as part of the process.
• If the person doesn’t want to talk about something, that’s OK — just go to the next question.
• If the person has a lot to say in response to a particular question, summarize the key ideas to fit in the space available on the sheets.
• An interview shouldn’t last more than an hour. People do best when they’re not tired. You can always finish the interview at another time.
• Don’t forget to thank the person you have interviewed. Let him or her know you value what has been shared.
• When the interviews and research have been completed, it’s a nice idea for a family member to read the story on audiotape or, ideally, video with the camera zooming in on specific photos during appropriate parts of the story. (Begin and end the video with a current photo of the person.) The video brings more life to the story and can be played if an older adult is feeling depressed, bored, restless or agitated. The sheets and audiotape or video also become a long-term family keepsake.
Some key interview questions:
• How were you named? Were you named after someone? Did you have a childhood nickname?
• What was your favorite song, story or book when you were a child?
• What was your best subject in school? Your worst subject?
• What did you want to be when you grew up?
• How is the world different now from when you were a child?
• What’s the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?
• What was the most difficult choice you ever had to make? Do you feel you made the right choice?
• What’s the one thing in your life that makes you most proud?
• Do you remember someone saying something to you that had a big impact on how you lived your life? What was it?
• Who was the person who had the most positive influence on your life? What did that person do?
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