Have you heard anyone say: “Marriage is not the business of government”? This sounds great until one considers that the disintegration of the family — built upon marriage — is the driving engine behind many of our most serious social problems.
No one would argue that crime and child poverty in America are not the business of government. And no one wants to see the government turn a blind eye to the social trends that are doing the most damage to American children.
Therein lies the problem with the fantasy that the health of the legal and social institution of marriage is an exclusively private matter.
The reality is that our government is permanently in the business of dealing with the social fallout from marital and family decline, whether we acknowledge the fact or not. This is because decades of social-science studies have proven that most of our nation’s most daunting social problems are driven more by family breakdown than any other social variable — including race and economics.
So, the time has come to recognize that marriage is a public social good. The health of American families — built upon marriage — affects us all. And this is why the president’s plan to use a modest portion of welfare funding to invest in building stronger marriages in America is good social policy.
At present, while the federal government spends large sums of money to treat the social fallout of family decline — crime, poverty, drug abuse, school dropouts and so on — we invest almost nothing in marriage-strengthening programs designed to prevent such problems in the first place.
President Bush wants to change all of that. His Healthy Marriages Initiative would provide at least $1.5 billion in government funds over five years to increase the number of stable marriages in low-income communities. These monies would seek to do three critical things.
First, this innovative proposal would offer people accurate information about the value of marriage in the lives of men, women and children. Among other things, this research-based information would show that, far from being a “trap,” stable marriages typically help men, women and their children enjoy longer life, better health and greater happiness.
Second, the initiative would teach couples some marriage skills that have been shown to help build stronger relationships, especially in areas such as family budgeting and communications skills. It also looks for ways to overcome conflicts that can leave families stronger rather than weaker.
Howard Markman of the University of Denver says that numerous studies show that couples can learn such relationship skills. And he reports that a recent study found that clergy in Denver did a better job of teaching about marriage than trained staff in secular programs.
Thus, it is fitting that the Healthy Marriages Initiative would allow religious institutions that serve needy populations to apply for federal grants designed to strengthen marriage in low-income communities.
Finally, this proposal would fund innovative research and demonstration projects that are designed to increase the number of stable marriages in low-income communities. Among other things, these experimental programs would seek to reduce the financial penalties against marriage that are currently contained in many federal welfare programs.
Importantly, participation in the initiative would be voluntary, and the program primarily would be targeted to young couples who are open to or contemplating marriage — as well as at-risk married couples who would like to avoid divorce but need help building a strong marriage.
Indeed, the underlying premise of this modest program is that helping people make better life decisions and develop stronger relationship skills will not only lead to greater adult happiness and improved child well-being, but will also result in less child poverty and welfare dependence. Thus, not only will couples and their children benefit from the Healthy Marriages Initiative, but America’s taxpayers will as well.
No man is an island. The same is true for women and children. We all rise or fall collectively with the health of our social infrastructure — built upon the foundation of the family. This is why healthy marriages are — in a sense — everyone’s business.
Matt Daniels is a lawyer and founder and president of the Alliance for Marriage.
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