Roger Mingo lives in fear of the “gangs of thugs” tromping past his humble residence on Hall Place in Northwest, as he made clear in a recent letter to Cynthia Simms, a community-resource officer with the Alcoholic Beverage Regulation Administration (ABRA).
His fear is understandable, considering Hall Place sits one block behind the red-light district of Wisconsin Avenue.
The object of his fear is misplaced, however.
He suggests that the young urban professionals who patronize Town Hall are the source of his anxiety, which is a characterization that undoubtedly would annoy the hip Barbara Bush and the team of Secret Service agents who have sampled the G-rated atmosphere of the upscale establishment.
“I no longer want Town Hall in my neighborhood at all,” Mr. Mingo wrote.
Mr. Mingo has the sympathy of the residents who live in this hardscrabble stretch of asphalt. Few celebrate the roving band of thugs in their midst.
Yet most residents are wise enough to know that the thugs are not drawn to the neighborhood because of Town Hall’s haute cuisine and bottled spirits.
They are more apt to be drawn to the commercial strip because of the two topless joints and two “massage” establishments.
The “massage” therapists of Venus World, in the 2300 block of Wisconsin Avenue, are best known for what is said to be their customer-friendly motto — “We love you long time.”
The commercial strip apparently has a strong need for this sort of enterprise, as the newly opened OK Spa has taken up residence on a third-floor setting in the 2400 block of Wisconsin Avenue.
The proprietors of OK Spa even had an ad in the sports pages of The Washington Post yesterday touting their “grand opening,” which no doubt explained the long line of patrons stretching from its entranceway to Georgetown Valet.
Asked whether she plans to attend OK Spa’s grand opening, Tamela Gordon, the Advisory Neighborhood Commission (ANC) 3B chairwoman, said, “Of course not.”
Asked for the ANC’s position on a massage parlor succeeding Town Hall, if it comes to that, Ms. Gordon said, “The ANC has no control over what businesses decide to buy or lease space in the neighborhood. We have asked the police to take action against the massage parlors in the neighborhood suspected of illegal activity.”
Despite the potent urban mix of “massage” therapists, pole-hugging topless women and the intoxicated men who love both, Town Hall has come to be the neighborhood’s source of all the late-night noise, petty thievery and threats real and imagined.
Evelyn Fine is another of the oppressed residents of Hall Place who feels terrorized by the thugs in designer clothing loitering in her vicinity.
In a report to the ANC 3B, she writes, “Drunks have been crashing pots, stealing plants from planters and harassing neighbors.”
She did not reveal whether these drunks were returning to their automobiles from the “massage” parlors, topless nightclubs or Town Hall, undoubtedly because it is not smart to attempt to gather that kind of personal information from a person making off with your potted plant.
Still others along Hall Place have noticed an increasing number of passers-by suffering from bladder-fatigue syndrome, which has resulted in an irrigation problem and a call to plant a much-needed portable toilet there.
Jim Barnett, a Manor Place resident who has come to feel the pain of the besieged parties of Hall Place, wrote the director of ABRA telling of his frightening experience with the crowd of Town Hall.
“Shortly after midnight, a group of Town Hall patrons stood outside my home and yelled until I woke up,” he wrote. “Although no physical harm was done, I feel as though my family had been threatened.”
As mean as this stretch of the city is, the determined protesters of Hall Place have shown themselves to be of equal character.
They are endeavoring to drive out the small-business owners of Town Hall, cruel as that prospect is.
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