- The Washington Times - Thursday, June 1, 2006

As Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie remain in lockdown in Namibia, the African country that virtually became the personal property of the Jolie-Pitts in the run-up to the birth of baby Shiloh, Vince Vaughn and the ex-Mrs. Pitt, Jennifer Aniston, are stepping out in style with the anti-romantic comedy”The Break-Up.” We couldn’t help noticing that the contrast between the two couples (well, rumored couple, in Vince and Jen’s case) has never been in sharper relief.

The pressure of perfection — Mr. Vaughn could lose a few pounds; his hair is greasy. And although she has succumbed to Hollywood’s great weight-loss race, Miss Aniston clearly has a nose that was shaped by God rather than man. The species Brangelina just looks too perfect, and perfect is no fair.

Activism, shmactivism — Yes, children are starving in Africa. Borders are bleeding with refugees. There is much, much trouble in the world. So let’s take bets: With which couple would you have a better chance of swallowing down a bloody steak and a yard beer without feeling guilty about your decadent Western affluence?

Bureaucracy hounds — What with the international adoptions and foreign-born citizenship applications and hyphenated names, we get the feeling there’re a lot of legal hassles hovering over the Jolie-Pitt compound. And that means a lot of BlackBerry distractions over cocktails.

Ick factor — As cosmetically appealing as the Jolie-Pitts are, the female half of the beast has a history of … let’s say eccentricity. We can only imagine how creeped out we and other patrons would be were Angelina to leave behind a vial of blood on the bar.

Fun quotient — Let’s be frank: Double-dating is supposed to be about fun. We’d ultimately rather hang with a Wedding Crasher than a Tomb Raider.

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