FREDERICK, Md. (AP) — Funerals are changing, directors say, transformed in part by technology and the desire of aging baby boomers to have ceremonies less about tradition and more about personality.
“Go back to our parents’ generation and everybody pretty much did the same thing: one- or two-day visitation, funeral, burial,” said Doug Stauffer, owner of Stauffer Funeral Homes, with locations in Maryland in Frederick, Walkersville, Thurmont, Mount Airy and Brunswick.
Today, he said, it’s not about what loved ones may want, but what “I” want.
Video presentations, accompanied by music, are one of the new traditions, Kit Hartzler, funeral director of Hartzler Funeral Homes, told the Frederick News Post.
Families select 40 to 50 photos for the multimedia presentation, along with favorite hymns or songs. “We suggest it’s more meaningful if it’s done in chronological order,” Mr. Hartzler said. Memory tables and photographs create “good memories. That’s the bottom line,” she said.
The images families choose to commemorate are as different as the people themselves, said Gary L. Rollins, owner of funeral homes in Frederick and Hagerstown.
“The photos don’t necessarily have to be of the deceased,” he said, noting that some families include family functions and special events that occurred during the departed’s life.
Technology also plays a role. Images can be put onto memory candles and program covers, or used to create photo collages.
Loved ones sometimes incorporate symbols of the deceased’s interests or hobbies into the ceremony.
One family parked a motorcycle belonging to the deceased at the head of the casket, Mr. Stauffer recalled. If the deceased was a musician, his former colleagues might set up a live jam session in his honor.
Mr. Rollins, whose clientele is predominantly black, said black families “don’t stray too far away from tradition. There are set services, but there is a lot of latitude to do anything you want, as long as it’s tasteful.
“It can be nice and traditional or nice and contemporary. Unless it’s really out there, we’ll do it. … That’s how we’ve approached it. There’s nothing we can do for [the deceased] person. The whole idea is to help you get through the grieving process,” Mr. Rollins said.
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