The two-alarm blaze that gutted JP’s Nightclub in the 2400 block of Wisconsin Avenue Northwest early Tuesday morning establishes an unsettling connection between fires and strip clubs in the neighborhood just north of Georgetown.
In early November, the manager of Good Guys, the strip club that is a block south of JP’s on the other side of Wisconsin Avenue, was set on fire by an angry patron. Investigative reporters from the local television stations — at least the ones who could be spared from the storm-central desk tracking a one-flake blizzard in Western Maryland — descended on the neighborhood to find out what prompts one man to set another man on fire.
After all, it is the rare neighborhood that has a man who wants to set another man on fire, and, in fact, there has been no sighting of a man on fire in any neighborhood in the city since there was a man on fire at Good Guys. By the way, Good Guys is an otherwise safe establishment that lures customers because of its world-famous hamburgers.
At least that is the contention of those who frequent Good Guys. It is a highly plausible point that is in the company of purchasing Playboy magazine because of its well-researched, well-written articles.
Fortunately, there was no man on fire at JP’s, although there was a man who had to be rescued from the roof of the burning building. The quick response of city firefighters prevented what could have been another man on fire, which would not have been good for property values in the neighborhood.
Prospective homeowners just do not want to move into neighborhoods that have a man on fire. Alas, the television sleuths who were pulled off their storm coverage in Frostburg, Md., where it apparently snows every other day, made certain to let everyone in the region know that there was a man on fire in the neighborhood.
And so residents of the neighborhood began hearing from friends, saying, “Oh, you live in the man-on-fire neighborhood.” Now there is another fire involving a strip club in the neighborhood, which, coincidentally or not, follows the raid on the Love You Long Time Massage Parlorin late December.
Tito Guillette, the general manager of Ceviche that is two doors from JP’s, said the restaurant experienced a drastic reduction in business because of the fire, even if there was one positive in it all.
“There was no man on fire, not this time at least,” Mr. Guillette said yesterday. “Yet it still hurt us. There was no foot traffic, and the front of our building was eclipsed by the fire trucks. No one could even see if we were open from the street.”
These are austere times in the family-friendly neighborhood that used to tout two strip clubs and three Love You Long Time dens, plus an independent book store that sells no books. The commercial strip is just not what it used to be, except for ever-popular Town Hall, a restaurant that has become the favorite of seemingly healthy men who suffer from irritable bladder syndrome. Studies show that many of these men are embarrassed to discuss this disorder with their family practitioners because of a pathological fear of adult diapers.
So they end up dealing with their irritable bladders by standing next to the side of an innocent building or next to a tree in front of someone’s home. This has put many of the compassionate residents in a quandary — whether to plant a Don’s Johns on their front lawns or have CVS employ a doctor on its premises 24 hours a day.
That is a concern for another day. For now, JP’s is down, despite the commendable job of the firefighters in limiting the loss of life to the rats that called the place home.
Donations in lieu of flowers can be made to PETA.
Please read our comment policy before commenting.