- The Washington Times - Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Advice compiled and condensed from actual sources by Kelly Jane Torrance, who composed the questions.

I really haven’t been very happy lately - but anyone who’s seen the tabloid photos of my bloated face knows that.

I haven’t been doing well, personally or professionally. My love life is going nowhere, and my career has been tanking ever since I left the buzzworthy show “The O.C.” three years ago, thinking I was heading for greener pastures. I haven’t been able to rehabilitate my reputation since I was arrested on a DUI last year.

I have lots of time to think about these things right now. I’ve been in Cedars-Sinai under involuntary psychiatric care for almost a week. Is there any way for me to turn my life around before it’s too late?

- Mischa Barton

Dear Mischa,

Happiness doesn’t depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude.

- Dale Carnegie

I‘m still in shock. My boyfriend, Tony Romo, dumped me the night before I turned 29. Worse, I had to call off the Barbie-and-Ken-themed party I had organized. We really made the perfect doll couple.

I feel shattered. First Adam Levine dumped me in a text message. Then John Mayer told the world he broke up with me. And now this! I feel like I’m becoming America’s most famous girl for guys to break up with.

I really don’t know how to bounce back this time - but I’m trying to stay away from the Ben & Jerry’s while I cope.

- Jessica Simpson

Dear Jessica,

Do not waste yourself in rejection; do not bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I thought I was untouchable. I rode into office on a wave of hope, with the kind of love this country hasn’t seen in years. Now I’m having trouble getting simple things like health reform passed.

My approval rating is tumbling - a CBS News poll put it at just 57 percent. That’s down 11 points from April! The same number of people thinks the country I’m leading is on the “wrong track.”

How can I regain the popularity I spent so long - well, let’s be honest, just a couple years - building? Do I need to release a few more stimulus packages or something?

- President Obama

Dear Mr. President,

Popularity is the easiest thing in the world to gain and it is the hardest thing to hold.

- Will Rogers

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