- The Washington Times - Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Advice compiled and condensed from actual sources by Kelly Jane Torrance, who composed the questions.

I‘m always in the spotlight, but I’m getting a little tired of it - even if it has made me a millionaire. I need more privacy, or at least that’s what my new boyfriend says. He persuaded me to delete my Twitter account.

The other man in my life isn’t happy about that, though. My dad, Billy Ray Cyrus, is Twittering himself and is urging me to get back on. “You are a light in a world of darkness,” he wrote. That’s a big sentiment, so it has me rethinking things. Do I need to reinstate my account and get re-connected with the wider world?

- Miley Cyrus

Dear Miley,

A talent is formed in stillness, a character in the world’s torrent.

- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I totally freaked people out the other day. I told the world via my Twitter account that “I am going to kill myself.”

I love attention, and this certainly got me lots. I started thinking it might be the wrong kind of attention, though, so I made the post invisible. It was really a cry for help, and now I’m getting some.

So the post helped, but I still have mixed feelings. Was it wrong of me to think such terrible thoughts and then post them online? It’s been a tough time for me lately; I was hospitalized last month after I told people about how my last boyfriend assaulted me.

- Tila Tequila

Dear Tila,

The thought of suicide is a powerful solace: by means of it one gets through many a bad night.

- Friedrich Nietzsche

People just discovered I’ve been dating a writer on my show. I didn’t think it was a big deal, but since someone in my line of work just had a blackmail attempt against him for having sex with his staffers, I’m a bit worried. I haven’t made a habit of doing it, like David Letterman apparently has done. And I’m dating just this one woman and no one else. Still, I have to wonder: Is it OK for a high-profile boss to be dating a subordinate?

- Jimmy Kimmel

Dear Jimmy,

Employees make the best dates. You don’t have to pick them up and they’re always tax-deductible.

- Andy Warhol

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