- Associated Press - Monday, August 20, 2012

A selection of comic lines from Phyllis Diller, who died Monday at age 95:

_ “I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.”

_ “I never made `Who’s Who,’ but I’m featured in `What’s That?’ “

_ “When I told Fang I was going to have my face lifted, he said, `Who’d steal it?’”

_ “You know you’re old when your walker has an airbag.”

_ “I was the world’s ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.”

_ “I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.”

_ “My vanity table is a Black & Decker workbench.”

_ “The only thing domestic about me is I was born in this country.”

_ “They say housework can’t kill you, but why take the chance?”

_ “I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.”

_ “Think of me as a sex symbol for men who just don’t give a damn.”

_ “The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.”

_ And actor Dylan McDermott shares this line via Twitter: “One time (Diller) came over with a 70-year-old guy. Told me she was `robbing the cradle.’”

Copyright © 2018 The Washington Times, LLC.

The Washington Times Comment Policy

The Washington Times is switching its third-party commenting system from Disqus to Spot.IM. You will need to either create an account with Spot.im or if you wish to use your Disqus account look under the Conversation for the link "Have a Disqus Account?". Please read our Comment Policy before commenting.

 

Click to Read More

Click to Hide