- The Washington Times - Friday, December 13, 2013

If Bond, James Bond, were a real person and not simply a fictional character in 14 novels and on Hollywood movie screens, he’d not only be considered a drunk — but also a sexually dysfunctional, liver-damaged, car-crashing, dead man walking.

That’s according to a study by doctors in the British journal BMJ — who also found that the spy thriller’s hands would probably shake from alcohol withdrawal and that he was likely headed down the path toward stroke.

The study was all in fun, the researchers said, in USA Today. But it’s fun with a message: Don’t drink heavily, and especially, don’t drink heavily while driving like a madman and chasing glamorous women. Mr. Bond, for instance, drank about four times the recommended limit for British men, the researchers found.

“There are people capable of drinking this amount,” said Patrick Davies, a physician at Nottingham University Hospitals and a co-author of the report, in USA Today. “But they are not capable of drinking that amount and still being able to defuse a nuclear bomb.”

Mr. Davies described Mr. Bond’s alcohol consumption as “a huge amount,” and said if someone in real life actually drank that much, he or she would be regarded as “a significant alcoholic,” USA Today reported.

On top of that, it’s ridiculous to expect that Mr. Bond could drink that much and hit all his on-screen targets, the study suggested. His consumption level would have brought on a tremor that “would be catastrophic for his marksmanship,” Mr. Davies said.

Meanwhile, the creator of the James Bond character, novelist Ian Fleming, died of heart disease at the youthful age of 56 — following a life of heavy drinking and smoking.

“We think James Bond might have a similar life expectancy,” Mr. Davies said, in the USA Today report.

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