HARMONY, Minn. (AP) - The scrapbook of parenting advice given to Leslie Elsbernd by residents of Harmony Health Care and Rehab is as much a gift to those who gave the advice as the mother who received it.
Elsbernd is the physicians assistant at the nursing home on the south side of Harmony, as well as three others in the area. When her daughter, Claire Sophia, was born on Sept. 20, the Harmony staff and residents threw her a baby shower.
Diapers, stroller, clothes?
All were rejected.
Instead, the staff decided to ask the residents, who have centuries of experience raising children, to offer their advice.
“It was kind of a group decision,” said dietary manager Shelly Dolley. “We wanted to do something different.”
The staff also wanted to get the residents involved.
“I thought it was very interesting, and it would be helpful,” said resident Rachel Skaalen, who volunteered. “You need all the help you can get when you’re a new mother.”
Darliene Ask also was eager to help. “We all had children,” she told the Post-Bulletin (https://bit.ly/1gsc4G3).
“I was really touched,” Elsbernd said. “I couldn’t believe they went through the trouble. … We have a wealth of knowledge sitting here on the south end of Harmony.”
Some of the advice is down-home practical, such as using peppermint to get rid of colic.
Most, however, were much broader, such as buy her pretty clothes, take a lot of pictures, play with her, hug her, enjoy her.
Some examples:
- “Spoil the child and take care of her, sing to your child when rocking her to sleep.”
- “Don’t stress about going by the book. If you love her and rock her 10 more minutes, what’s the difference?”
- “Don’t get excited every time she cries. It’s good for her to cry sometimes, it gives her exercise.”
- “Love her. You can never give them ’enough’ love and attention. And you can’t spoil them.”
“It’s all big-picture types of things,” Elsbernd said. And she appreciates that.
“For me, I can get caught up: did she eat enough, small details,” she said. “It’s nice to have wisdom, focus on the big picture sometimes.”
She admits some of the advice might seem dated, such as buy pretty clothes or take lots of pictures. But think about it - many of the residents grew up on farms during the Depression, when children didn’t have a lot of pretty clothes, she said. Few farmers had cameras. Unlike today’s photo-mad selfie culture, a black-and-white photo was rare, a thing reserved for a birthday or first communion.
So that advice made sense, she said. She was touched by that.
But perhaps the people most touched were those giving the advice, Elsbernd said. Just being asked to help was a gift to them, she said. Many feel that being older they are no longer valuable, no longer can help or have nothing to offer.
Being asked “was pretty special to some of these people,” she said.
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Information from: Post-Bulletin, https://www.postbulletin.com
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