The snowflake generation just got a bit more helpless.
According to a report in the Washingtonian, millennials are now requesting the help of their parents to deal with their own divorces.
“In some cases, parents have a financial stake and want to be kept apprised of the legal strategy,” the magazine writes. “In others, they get involved purely to offer support and guidance. Among clients in their twenties, thirties, and even early forties, attorneys say they’re observing a changing dynamic, with adult children depending on, and confiding in, their parents’ more than prior generations did.”
Why is this?
Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of “How to Raise an Adult” and former dean of freshmen at Stanford University, says with regard to children in their 20s and 30s — i.e., millennials — parental involvement in divorce is ‘a logical extension’ of what she witnessed among college students,” The Washingtonian writes:
“The parents felt they had to be there at every turn — ‘I have to talk to authority figures on your behalf; I have to edit your papers,’” she recalls of her time at Stanford from 1998 to 2012.
She traces the dynamic to trends that took root in the ‘80s. This was the dawn of “stranger danger” — “We’ve taught them throughout childhood not to talk to strangers, so we shouldn’t be surprised that they don’t know how to advocate for themselves.” It was also the advent of ‘self-esteem culture,’ the idea that kids should be constantly praised. Lythcott-Haims says some of her students consequently couldn’t cope even with minor setbacks, such as getting a B on a paper.
Dealing with a divorce is much harder than getting a B, so it’s really thrown these millennials for a loop. And of course, they’re not responsible for any of it. So mommy and daddy need to step in and clean it up.
As a mother, you can count me out of these counseling events.