- The Washington Times - Monday, November 14, 2016

ANALYSIS/OPINION:

The story is a parody within itself.

The New York Times, being ever so self-reflective, fears President-elect Donald Trump will drain Washington, D.C., of its newly found, hip culture.

“Michelle Obama has burned off her date-night meals at Washington’s new generation of acclaimed restaurants by pedaling at SoulCycle. President Obama has shopped for Jonathan Franzen novels with his daughters at local independent bookstores. Obama administration staff members, their barhopping chronicled in the gossip pages, have hit the 14th Street hot spots hard,” The Times said, giving Mr. Obama credit for an “urban renaissance.”

“What the effect on Washington will be when Donald J. Trump moves into the White House is hard to predict. But many Washingtonians fear the worst,” The Times wrote.

What are the horrors to come?

“… Mr. Trump seems unlikely to drop in at Oyamel, the Mexican restaurant and Obama favorite owned by José Andrés, a star chef and devoted Trump critic. For that matter, it is even unclear whether Mr. Trump, who has used his new Trump International Hotel as an outpost here, will spend weekends in the White House or in New York,” The Times said.

Oh, geez, how do cool Washingtonians cope?

Apparently by signing up “for free tension-relieving sessions at yoga studies,” or by meditating on emails from progressive rabbis reminding them of the Jewish mantra “We have not yet lost hope,” The Times reported.

Really? Yes, really.

“Reports abounded of federal workers and nonprofit employees crying at their desks, scanning the web for out-of-town rentals or accepting the free hugs on offer in Farragut Square,” The Times wrote.

Well, a recent survey did find that 14 percent of federal workers said they would definitely consider leaving their jobs if Mr. Trump were to win. Another 13 percent said they were unsure.

So I guess maybe it’s goodbye to hip 14th Street and a hello to middle-America’s Main Street. Drain the swamp — and if SoulCycle goes down, so be it.

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