- The Washington Times - Thursday, April 6, 2017

Joe Biden and wife, Jill, have reportedly secured a three-book deal with Flatiron to write about life in the White House, the death of their son, Beau, and other matters considered noteworthy, interesting and, of course, marketable.

My suggestion? A coffee table volume on famous Bidenisms — like the one where he told the paralyzed guy in the wheelchair, Sen. Chuck Graham, to “stand up, let the people see you.” Or how about a look-see into his whispered monicker, “America’s Creepy Uncle” — there’s a good title, right there — that could conclude, with a final dramatic chapter, as a tell-all?

That’d be a top-seller, for sure. Here’s a starter question, to get the ball rolling — the pen flowing, so to speak: How come there’s a C-SPAN video of you titledJoe Biden Sexually Assaults/Gropes Children” that contains not one, not two, but several clips of you with little girls? And another, titled “Joe Biden is a Creep! Groping Senators Children!”

Step away from the girls, Biden. In the many, many videos on YouTube, they’re obviously uncomfortable with your touches.

But the publisher probably has other ideas in mind.

“We’re so deeply honored to be the publisher of these books by vice president and Dr. Biden,” said Bob Miller of Flatiron Books in a statement. “The vice president’s book promises to give us all a deeper understanding of recent political history. But it will clearly also be a book about the values that have given the vice president strength in both good times and bad.”

Biden is due to write two non-fiction works; his wife, one. And the first of Biden’s is supposed to detail how he worked at the White House while dealing with the loss of his son, in May 2015, from brain cancer.

That’s good — and it’ll probably sell pretty well. But still think one titled “America’s Creepy Uncle” would be the real blockbuster.

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