The United Nations, in its latest scientific finding from its scientists at the very, unquestionably scientific Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, said the world’s oceans are rapidly changing and that means fish are dying, hurricanes are brewing, flooding is beckoning — and with all that, people are dying. And by all scientific predictions, it’s looking to the world of science that people, gasp, are going to continue to die.
Good God man, somebody grab a pen. Somebody grab a cellphone. There’re regulations to write and taxes to impose.
You know what they say: Save a fish. Save a human.
“Global warming has already reached 1 [degrees Celsius] above the pre-industrial level, due to past and current greenhouse gas emissions,” the IPCC said in a statement accompanying the report, as Fox News noted. “There is overwhelming evidence that this is resulting in profound consequences for ecosystems and people. The ocean is warmer, more acidic and less productive. Melting glaciers and ice sheets are causing sea level rise, and coastal extreme events are becoming more severe.”
It’s so hard to take this stuff seriously because the alarmist wing of the environmental movement has been wrong on so many — read: all — previous occasions.
Global cooling didn’t kill off humanity.
Acid rain didn’t kill off humanity.
Aerosol hairspray containers didn’t kill off humanity.
Humans are either an extraordinarily hardy bunch — or environmentalists are off their rocker. And with pinheads like socialist Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York leading the charge, it’s not difficult to decide which of those statements strike as truest.
“We’re like, the world is going to end in 12 years if we don’t address climate change,” she said in January.
“Climate change is here + we’ve got a deadline: 12 years left to cut emissions in half,” she said in April.
And guess where she gets those startling-albeit-stupid predictions?
Da da dum, drumroll please: the United Nations. The batch of IPCCers calling themselves scientists at the United Nations.
“The oceans and the icy parts of the world are in big trouble and that means we’re all in big trouble, too,” said Michael Oppenheimer, a professor of geosciences and international affairs at Princeton University, the Associated Press reported.
Didn’t we already go through with former Vice President Al Gore and his posed polar bears atop a broken-off glacier, looking dejectedly at the water ‘cause, you know, they feared drowning?
Again, it’s so hard to take these climate predictions with any ounce of seriousness. They keep recycling, only louder, with scarier deadlines for death.
And always, always with the common message from the United Nations: Give us your sovereignty and your money, and we can save the world. Today’s oceans, tomorrow’s rainforests, next week’s factory pollutants. It’s all, and always, the same.
• Cheryl Chumley can be reached at email@example.com or on Twitter, @ckchumley.